tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post2532822530892863937..comments2020-01-10T20:02:31.259-06:00Comments on LoveJonesLifestyle: LOVE or SEX...The "Talk"Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-81135132724845187562011-04-09T01:54:57.410-05:002011-04-09T01:54:57.410-05:00This is something that I think about often. For a...This is something that I think about often. For a long time, I thought my mother didn't have "the talk" with me because she was older than most of my peers' mothers. I later found out that many other parents did not deliver "the talk" either. I believe that any message, even if it's short and to the point, is better than no message at all. I strongly believe that "the talk" with my mom would have impacted the decisions I made. <br />As a mother of two daughters, I also believe "the talk" is an ongoing conversation. I take every opportunity presented to me to discuss relationships and sex - during movies, chats about what's going on at school, and TV time (especially ABC Family!). We talk about the decisions people make, possible outcomes, what would have probably been the best decision, etc. Sometimes, it can get uncomfortable for me when my girls come to me with questions, thoughts, or the latest drama at school. I think, "I would never talk to my mom about this." I quickly shake it off and have those candid conversations that need to take place. <br />Also, you canNOT stress too much how valuable your child is. My girls have grown up hearing how intelligent, talented, and beautiful they are. Your intelligence, attitude, and integrity are much more important than your outer beauty. I have tried very hard to instill the value of hard work into my girls. They know they have to work for anything they want. However, I also make sure that my girls are accustomed to nice things, such as nice clothes, pampering, and travelling. Not so that they will be vain, but so that no boy/ man can come to them and offer them anything that would make them compromise what has been instilled in them. Boys can't come to them and tell them anything that they haven't heard before. Men won't be able to offer them anything that they cannot work for and do for themselves. Unfortunately, too many women are swept off of their feet into bad relationships based on sweet words or promises of the finer things in life. <br />Luckily, I currently have a 15-year old that most of her peers think is weird because she is more interested in her extra-curricular activities than having a boyfriend. And a soon-to-be 12-year old who quickly points out that the other 6th graders should not be dating or even have boyfriends and that Miley Cyrus has lost her mind and needs to realize she is a role model to some little girls and should not dress and behave the way she does. But this is just the beginning of our journey, so wish me luck...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-77814233317243547072011-03-30T20:43:00.880-05:002011-03-30T20:43:00.880-05:00B.Marie...Thank you for your comment. The failure ...B.Marie...Thank you for your comment. The failure that you write about, the NOT TALKING, is one of the key ways that we pass on damaging/risky/dangerous behavior cross generationally and throughout families. If we ever want healing and healthy relationships, we've got to counter the media messages and send healthy ones. Glad you're thinking and that we are a part of your thought process!Zenzilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-4040059484389305202011-03-30T20:34:36.943-05:002011-03-30T20:34:36.943-05:00Kim, how wonderful that you've decided to use ...Kim, how wonderful that you've decided to use the experiences to create positive action for the future. My goal is to change the way communities and individuals look at love, connections and relations, so that we are ALL healthier. Keep moving forward with your mentees and your (future) little ones!Zenzilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-7482383088705193602011-03-30T20:29:29.792-05:002011-03-30T20:29:29.792-05:00This is so necessary. My mother never talked to me...This is so necessary. My mother never talked to me about love or sex, and I know what a tremendous difference it would have made in my life. Thankfully, those experiences have taught me the things that need to be said to my mentees and future children.Kimhttp://www.forharriet.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-84474778058791874922011-03-29T21:02:43.352-05:002011-03-29T21:02:43.352-05:00First LJL, I want to thank you. This post (and man...First LJL, I want to thank you. This post (and many others) have inspired many creative critical thoughts. <br /><br />I certainly can imagine how different my choices in mates might have been if my mother replied when I inquired about dating "find someone WORTHY of you". Instead there was no inquiry, no talk, no discussion, rather silent observations...which definitely included the linear world of mainstream television and hollywood. I now see a pattern I did not see before...the familial influences and patterns schooling a young impressionable adolescent mind while media fills in the gaps. Got me thinkin' LJL, got me thinkin'marie dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01616766732261889570noreply@blogger.com