tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27839024923660304382024-02-19T10:14:14.430-06:00LoveJonesLifestyleLove Jones Lifestyle is all about living the dream, following your passion, and being unafraid to love. We seek to recapture that childhood abandon and bring it into the "grown up" world. We believe in following your dreams, even if it means balancing it with a corporate day job or gigs on the side. We believe in being fluid enough to take your talent and build the life you've always imagined, live, laugh and love!!!Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-4987338899867782212013-09-15T21:44:00.003-05:002013-09-15T21:47:19.122-05:00Personal Empowerment Oftentimes we forget how awesome we are. We are artists, we make the world beautiful! We are writers, we weave stories that pull at the heart, and boggle the mind. We are musicians, we transport the world to places inside, outside and across space and time!<br />
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We are also, very often, 9-5ers with ..."Day Jobs" and it was in this moment, a moment of preparing for my "day job" that I had a very empowering revelation. Those people...are damn lucky to have me! So...why was I feeling insecure? Why was I questioning my skills? I don't do anything that I haven't done literally hundreds, if not a thousand (by now) times before. I was doing work that I could do with my eyes closed, and a one word prompt! So again...unsure why?<br />
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What I realized, was that although I am great at what I do, my place of employment, my position, because it is heavily dependent on external factors, was what was insecure. I obtained my position, like the previous 4 positions before it via a letter and c.v., or simply on someone's word. And, although I <strike>was </strike> am good at what I do, I've been hired, and gone on working. However, the organizations I've worked for, nonprofits and educational institutions, are simply spaces that are often financially insecure.<br />
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Realization 1<br />
I'm not insecure, institutions are. I am excellent at what I do. I do it well, I'm knowledgeable in my field, and continue to build my skill set.</blockquote>
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Another thing I know, because of Realization 1 is that security...comfort is important. I'm the only one looking out for my comfort..its not like anyone is going to come up to me and say, here dear, you do much too much...take a rest! Therefore, I must do it myself. And for me, a day off isn't enough. For me, there is more...the day must start with a delicious snack of strawberries and tea. Then yoga and a steaming hot shower. After that, an hour or so of writing, journaling, planning and reading. Maybe a few phone calls, a pedicure, and a decadent lunch. Chocolate is involved. Some time in nature...a park, a lake, a river, walking, reading, animal or people watching. Capturing some of the beauty in photographs. Creating, writing, teaching. Finding children to chat with- they have wonderful stories and totally understand the concept of lounging, discovery and imagination, and finally journeying home.<br />
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Realization 2<br />
I'm going to start living from a place of luxury. Period. </blockquote>
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That is to say, a day off, or my ideal day, shouldn't be special, my ideal day, is how I should live my life. I've already incorporated this ideal into my life in many ways, but this week's realizations only spoke to the urgency with which I need to incorporate more.<br />
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I'm so thankful to have had these revelations, as they are the cornerstone of the LoveJonesLifestyle. I look forward to hearing how YOU empower yourselves to live a life in alignment with LJL...Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-20870485209467933602013-09-09T09:47:00.001-05:002013-09-09T09:47:15.744-05:00We've been Working!Greetings LJL family we have been super use but have not forgotten about you Lovelies. <div><br></div><div>We have so much exciting news to share, and want you to be a part of our growth! </div><div><br></div><div>We have been busily building programs, platforms and businesses to serve YOU, the LJL reader, lover and lifestyle living world citizen. Right now, we are building a beautiful new collection of plays and independent theatre experiences through Harkins House Productions. We are so excited about our upcoming season, which includes a second run of the previously sold out show The Man Store. </div><div><br></div><div>The Man Store <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">is about a scientist named Dr. Delilah Banks, who becomes the first Black woman and scientist to develop a clone in the image of Black men. Along with her daughter, Portia, Delilah opens a business that sells these newly designed Black male clones to single Black women as options for husbands. The stage play is one part satire, one part drama, and one part comedy, and it offers a unique perspective on Black love and relationships. <strong>The Man Store is scheduled for another run during the weekend of November 22-24, 2013 in Memphis, TN.</strong></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><strong><br></strong></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">We are also working on building fun and exciting platforms for you to express <i>your</i> creativity with writing workshops, acting workshops, and culture based entertainment. We can't wait to share all of this goodness, art, culture,fun, excitement and richness with you all. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Right now, we are building a solid foundation and asking for your help with that, by donating to and sharing the indiegogo campaign found here (</span><a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/hhp-donation-drive?mobile=1">http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/hhp-donation-drive?mobile=1</a>) with your friends and community who also support positive representations of our culture, good music, new Black theatre and quality entertainment from a fresh perspective. </div><div><br></div><div>We will be sharing more updates soon! In the meantime, keep living the lifestyle! </div><div><br></div><div>P.S. go to Facebook and Like our Harkins House Productions (www.facebook.com/harkinshouse) page to get the updates pics and progress of all of our exciting projects! </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhchEvN79KyuPRdK_GqBLEbOYZWwASP70jkDX5vi5gJo5Fhrva4Yg7ZxxgZhYnCbw56USdHkivbNJ1gj3E2_OdXQNQjMXnPvfNOlacOEeaQSr3xFailJtGqIsCQFNuhi0vwZZ3h9oPGtqjD/s640/blogger-image-269400786.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhchEvN79KyuPRdK_GqBLEbOYZWwASP70jkDX5vi5gJo5Fhrva4Yg7ZxxgZhYnCbw56USdHkivbNJ1gj3E2_OdXQNQjMXnPvfNOlacOEeaQSr3xFailJtGqIsCQFNuhi0vwZZ3h9oPGtqjD/s640/blogger-image-269400786.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-14253758640191775892013-01-01T21:01:00.002-06:002013-01-01T21:01:39.579-06:00Grown WomanNess...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Happy New Year from LoveJonesLifestyle to all of you who check us out, no matter how sporadic we post! Lol! What can we say? We live. Sometimes, the discussions about what needs to be seen on this blog are so in depth and enthusiastic, but then when it comes to putting ink to the paper or more appropriately, keystrokes to the post, we fall short because life will call us by our first names and send us on a load of errands. We have jobs to work, families to care for, art to create, etc.
While twenty-four hours seem like a long time, it's really not when you're attempting to squeeze eighteen hours worth of life management into it. Once we do get settled, Zenzile and I may pull up a post, hit a few sentences, and then lose our fight to remain awake long enough to finish it. But that's what we do. It's our Grown WomanNess.<br />
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Both of us have noticed that the interwebs are full of spirited voices of Black women, speaking on a host of issues and topics, however, we've also noticed that many of their commentaries reek of a bit of immaturity, largely due to the fact that we're not in that mental space anymore. Zenzile & I are part of, what I like to call, the Slo Woman group. I have to give credit to Mint Condition for this concept. They have a song on their recently released album, <i>Music @ the Speed of Life</i>, by the same name. I would say that the Slo Woman group is about 35 and over. Members of this group have graduated to this point where certain issues have lost their critical weight in our lives. We're not having full-fledged discourses about our 'nerdiness' or fashion sense. We snub our noses at about 90% of popular culture as we're not concerned about being apart of trends so much as we're interested in setting them. We're not even tempted to randomly mention that rash of reality shows that have permeated so much of Black culture. <br />
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Instead, we engage in heady and frank discussions about things like art, culture, emotionality, sexuality, and spirituality over good glasses of wine, or in Zenzile's case, Starbucks coffee. Our approaches to life are highly customized based on the philosophies that we've acquired by way of Fuck-Ups and we're fully capable of readjusting our sails if the winds of change blow us from East to West, North to South. Now, whatever you do, don't take us for a group of prudes or snobs as we are FAR from that. The Slo Woman group is filled with women who make self-definition sexy. We exist as we are and make no apologies for it. <br />
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So, as we kick off a new year, we owe it to you, our readers, to be more visible here at LoveJonesLifestyle. While the number of our posts may not indicate it, we do have a lot to say and even more to share. Please, do us a favor. If you're on Facebook, find our LoveJonesLifestyle fanpage, like it and join us this year for some stimulating discussion and sign up to this blog so you won't miss any of our posts. Remember, we live and while we expect to post more content in 2013, we're not gonna make any promises that we can't keep by telling you to look for two-five posts a month and then barely get one posted. See, that's something else that Grown Women do -- set realistic expectations. :-)<br />
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Blessings,<br />
Chandra Kamaria <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SgSBfbwvldU" width="420"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-65296214356989572692012-10-28T18:14:00.001-05:002012-10-28T18:14:13.904-05:00Grown and Sexy? Redefining being Grown...Much of today's discussion about adulthood has been centered around the notion of being "grown and sexy". The reality though, if you'll think about the awesome days of childhood, is that there's not much about being grown that's "sexy". Remember back in the day? endless days of play, visits to relatives, schoolyard fun and being relatively carefree? Adulthood, for most of us is just the opposite.<br />
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">Of course, here at LJL we work to make sure our adulthoods contain those elements that made us happiest as kids; music, art, love, friendship and community. </span></blockquote>
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Which brings me to my point. Isn't it time we redefined what being "grown" really is. Surely there's more to adulthood than being "sexy".<br />
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The grownups I talk to, respect and admire often emphasize the friendships they share <i>with </i>their loved one or significant other as the highlight of their adult relationships, not the sex. The reality is, in a world where being grown came relatively easy to our parents generation, (graduate from school, secure "good" job with benefits, and begin a family) those same markers are often elusive to Generation X and Millennials. The current economic climate has sent many of us right back to our parents' basements, and because of the relaxed climate around marriage and expanding structure/definition of family, the stability and security our parents generation experienced just is not a guarantee.<br />
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My thinking around being "grown," although my current life closely resembles traditionalism, although through a VERY non-traditional path, has been altered as I think about the significance of adulthood.<br />
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For me, adulthood is less about establishing my own autonomy, and more about being of use to my community. So, while I do work to move forward in my own career, accomplish personal goals and build and invest in my family, part of my work as an adult is to take advantage of the opportunity it gives me to be of use to more than just myself.<br />
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As an educator, my paid work is closely tied to community support. I do way more work than I am paid for, and my hours off the clock never really mean I am off. It doesn't end in the classroom and with more technology comes more access, and more opportunities to teach. My subject matter often means that I not only serve as an academic, but also engage in the work of guiding the personal and emotional maturing of my students.<br />
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As a parent, of course I see myself as wholly responsible for the success of my sons, even though they are surrounded by wonderfully supportive extended family, educators, child care workers, neighbors and friends.<br />
But I'm also incredibly concerned about their social circle, and of course the young ladies they attend school with. I'm concerned about their educational institutions and community activities that are available to all kids.<br />
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Lately, I've been engaged in a significant amount of volunteer work and have found a great deal of satisfaction in doing work that supports my community in multiple ways. In this work, I've found the true meaning of being "grown". Its not simply growth, or maturity, but becoming an individual that is useful to the community in a variety of ways.<br />
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How do <b>YOU</b> do "grown" LJL family???Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-69921288208722523662012-05-29T23:07:00.000-05:002012-05-29T23:07:07.786-05:00Sophisticated Lady Swag: Conjure Woman<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, Zenzile has given you an overview on waistbeads & their purpose. Now, it's my turn to fill you in on my <i>jigeda</i>. I have three sets of waistbeads so far, with the goal of owning seven sets to fully establish <b>my brand</b> of divine femininity. As you can see from the photo, I have one set that's red/black with stones & a solid red set. The red beads from those two sets signify passion, sensuality, and love, while the black in one of the sets represents power. The solid white set emphasizes purity in intentions or sincerity & symbolizes the light of the moon, a celestial body that fascinates me to no end. The remaining four sets will vary in design depending on my moods & their specific uses, however, I do know that some of the colors in those sets will include, but are not limited to, purple, turquoise, orange, yellow, solid black, & green. </div>
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A woman can choose to adorn one set of waistbeads or several at a time, depending on her preference. Whatever her choice, she's dispensing feminine power, something that I'll loosely call magic-- and that is why she should be careful when wearing them. As for me, whenever I wear my beads, I'm usually rocking all three sets, but I'm also <b>highly selective</b> about when they are worn. For example, I do not wear my beads to the corporate slum (my job). It is not my intention to give off sensual energy in so sterile of an environment among menfolk who I have no desire to entice. It's not a good idea to wear waistbeads in other formal environments, such as church. I mean, really, praising the Lord has nothing to do with your sex appeal. <br />
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So, are waistbeads just that serious? The answer is yes. Given the current trends of sistas rocking stilettos before 9pm and the normality of skin-tight clothing and flesh displays, it's critical to stress, to women, that men actually like a bit of mystery in a woman. Waistbeads, when worn under clothing, can offer that mysterious effect as a woman uses her eyes & body language to suggest to her lover that she's got a sexy little secret waiting just for him.<br />
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For the most part, it's not much for a woman to step out in skimpy clothing, advertising the money parts (tits & ass) of her body, while men gawk unintentionally because they are biologically wired as visual creatures. But, once she's snagged the man of her liking, will she be able to keep his attention beyond the peep show? It was said that Cleopatra (who was a Black woman, by the way) had the ability to seduce a man from twenty paces without revealing a hint of flesh. She was able to do this because she understood the allure of a sensual & confident woman. These two qualities are not dependent on men's validation, but rather, from a woman tapping into those aspects for herself. <br />
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Waistbeads can help because, when wearing them, she will become more comfortable with herself. This can trigger emotional healing for all women, but especially sistas, since we are bombarded at every turn by media-induced images of beauty that starkly contrasts with what most of us see in the mirror. Activities such as adoring yourself in waistbeads and taking the time to engage in your own set of sacred pampering principles will bless you with one of the greatest gifts of all: self-acceptance. At the same time, waistbeads can charge a woman's sexuality. If she has tapped into her feminine essence & exudes confidence, she is able to present a level of intimacy and love that will secure a man's heart as well as have a seductive effect on him that's better than Viagara. It's a lot like casting a spell, a love spell, if you will & that's what being a Conjure Woman is all about. </div>
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Zenzile and I are making a special effort to add to the growing number of sistas out here who are reconnecting with our cultural roots. We're focused on presenting another version of Black womanhood that's not wrapped in layers of white supremacy, conservatism/traditionalism, or outright rebellion and lasciviousness. At the same time, we want to reaffirm the spiritual components of Black womanhood & reconstruct our community without the overt influence of Westernized societal models because they don't work for 'Us'. <br />
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Waistbeads may not seem as though they can make such a statement, but on the contrary. During our research for these posts, we have found several articles online, mostly from African websites, that are hashing it out about the traditional uses of waistbeads as well as their place in modern African societies. Bead work & bead wear has been in existence in Africa for thousands of years so it should be quite obvious how waistbeads are a highly politicized issue. In the U.S., there's an enclave of sistas who have taken up the craft of making & selling waistbeads (we will provide links in another post). Most of us are well aware of their allure & use them as a tool to celebrate our unique womanness. As we continue to observe, we are noticing that many sistas are straying away from our <a href="http://lovejoneslifestyle.blogspot.com/2012/04/it-girl-or-sophisticated-ladypondering.html">distinctiveness</a> (perhaps because many of them are unaware), which is why we're here revealing this -- the LoveJonesLifestyle. </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-23007588843657861072012-05-28T19:32:00.002-05:002012-05-28T19:32:17.090-05:00Sophisticated Lady Swag...Continuing our Sophisticated Ladies series, we bring you post number 4, <i><b>Sophisticated Lady Swag</b></i>. Just a play on words, as sophisticated ladies are obviously not into what is currently known as "swag" in the colloquial sense, but we do want to discuss what swag means for the sophisticated lady. After all our definition of a sophisticated lady is a woman who is originally created, authentically developed, and all about being <i>organic</i>. And swag, well, that's a woman's own essence, her s<i>elf defined representation and presentation.</i><br />
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The sophisticated lady, in the world of the LoveJonesLifestyle, is one who finds her own sense of appropriateness...from behavior, to dress, to vocation and representation, she is organically formed. She studies design to see what fits her body best, instead of fashion to maintain a trend. She develops her own code of ethics based on her own understanding, reasoning, argument and experience, as opposed to seeking acceptance and behaving like the status quo. She draws on the divine feminine to organically create an identity that suits her gifts, talents and lifestyle. She draws on her culture and ancestral history to ground her own identity which serves to protect her from the distractions, confusion and mixed messages of the outside world.<br />
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Following the vein of the divine feminine, Chandra Kamaria and I would like to share some of our #TeamOrganic swag, if you will.<br />
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One of my favorite pastimes is adornment. It helps me to relax and feel my best. Spending Saturdays washing and conditioning my locs, exfoliating, deep cleaning and decorating my face with makeup, indulging my skin in oil based salt and sugar scrubs, and slathering on scented oils and body creams have always been a few of my favorite rituals to prepare me for the stressful week ahead as a parent, student, employee, creative person, partner, community member and human being. Last week as we painted our nails, Chandra and I laughed as we simultaneously shared that we had recently pulled one of our favorite guiding texts, <a href="http://milliondollarmentor.net/?page_id=662" target="_blank">Debrena Jackson Gandy</a>'s <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Pampering-Principles-African-American-Self-care/dp/0688163475" target="_blank">Sacred Pampering Principles</a>, out for a refresher read.<br />
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Once all the physical <i>care</i> is done, we get to our favorite part, the adornment. While most look at summer adornment as all about "summer hair" swimsuits and sundresses, we go a bit deeper. For me especially, summer is all about three of my favorite pieces. The toe ring, anklet, and waist beads. I loved toe rings as soon as I got old enough to learn how to complete my own pedicures, and anklets were always mixed with seduction and repression for me. I would see the thin gold bands under the stockinged legs of ladies in church, and wonder infinitely about this hidden/visible piece of "grown up" jewelry. As soon as I had my own money, I hurried to Claire's Boutique at the mall to buy my own. (Talk about being 'grown'!!) Now I wear a chain of bells around my ankle, taking what my dear sister-friend <a href="http://www.rmcneal.com/biography.html" target="_blank">Reanae</a> calls "the rhythm of life" with me everywhere I go.<br />
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I first became interested in waist bead years ago but my own insecurities prevented me from ever taking my interest any further. I learned, much to my pleasure, that waist beads were a significant part of feminine power in West African (the area from which most African American's descent groups originate) culture. But I also thought, like many women do, that waist beads were for women with perfect waists...which I didn't have as a young woman, and certainly didn't have after giving birth to two nine pound baby boys! It was only when I decided to embrace what I<i><b> DID</b></i> have, that I was able to consider bringing the beads into my regular adornment style.<br />
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<a href="http://www.waistbeads.com/about/" target="_blank">Sewra</a> sums up the history and purpose of waist beads as I learned it from beaders, jewelry-makers and other students of the divine feminine:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Traditionally worn under clothes by African women, waist beads have several different meanings. Ranging from rites of passage, to enticing your husband to healing and rejuvenation. The art of adorning ones self has been practiced since the beginning of time. In Egypt, waist beads were called “girdles”. All the women wore them and it was a uniform for pre-pubescent girls with out any sexual connotation. But usually servants or dancers wore them and are shown in wall relief’s wearing them and nothing else!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>In West Africa, waist beads have several names.; Jel-Jelli, Jigeda, Giri-Giri, Djalay Djalay or Yomba. They’re always worn under clothes. In Ghana women knew that waist beads helped form their body into a particular shape and adult women wear beads to sexually stimulate the male. In other parts of West Africa, women would wear waist beads with bells on them, and when they walked it would make a jingling noise. Dipping them in oil scented the beads.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>When you add stones, waist beads take on healing qualities. Depending on ailment or what needs to be enhanced (i.e. love, physic powers, balancing), various semi-precious stones can be included in the design of your waist beads. (Sewra of waistbeads.com)</i></span></div>
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My first set of waist-beads (shown below) were hand made, originally scheduled to be a bridal project and bonding activity for me and my friends while we were all still single. I ended up being gifted with them by a sister-friend and was overwhelmed with joy as I knew they were a labor of love.<br />
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They consist of cotton thread and yellow silk ribbons, fire agate for confidence, jade for wisdom/balance and peace, and copper (increase/magnification of other stones) tie tips. Of course, waist beads are as diverse as the women who wear them. Some women wear several strands of tiny beads, others mix beads and healing stones, still others may wear a single strand of larger beads or a single strand of small beads.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Z-6LAwTddQfLkhWzGQAR7iEU8VYkXQVIs9Qqp-CzPMqcPr10K-Bc4LIxnygbpicO_wy7ZlpGlgCSzYaT39C1mgkDy3ao6fZRE9gec8Xwu8Yn28cJR0CKjbHFXdbg2hFmcsH43vKNaYme/s1600/IMG_0107%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0Z-6LAwTddQfLkhWzGQAR7iEU8VYkXQVIs9Qqp-CzPMqcPr10K-Bc4LIxnygbpicO_wy7ZlpGlgCSzYaT39C1mgkDy3ao6fZRE9gec8Xwu8Yn28cJR0CKjbHFXdbg2hFmcsH43vKNaYme/s320/IMG_0107%5B1%5D.jpg" width="240" /></a>My beads have become, above all other adornment, the ultimate in femininity. I love to wear them, to know that my most beautiful jewels are actually hidden, much like the true beauty of a woman. I love knowing that they lie in wait for discovery by my lover...and I love the effect they have when I am grabbed at the waist. The look that says "whats that?" followed by a passionate need to have the secret revealed.<br />
<br />
The beads are powerful. Because of their ancient nature, the have brought memories and myths to my sacred intimate space. They bring all of the energies of their physical property while magnifying the most natural human desire and drive for sexual healing.<br />
<br />
I'm already planning on making a second set, this time a casual, truly Southern set I call Pure Leather and Wood, which will consist of a tan leather band, round white (moon energy, purity, spiritual clarity ) wood beads, ebony (protection) square wood beads as accents and cream glass bead tie tips.<br />
<br />
For me, being able to create my own expression of beauty, that has a function and is extremely expressive of self love, my personal history and the divine feminine is the <b><i>ULTIMATE</i></b> <i>Sophisticated Lady swag</i>!!<br />
<br />Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-29215395402123661202012-05-24T22:57:00.000-05:002012-05-24T22:57:19.143-05:00Letter to My Former Lovers...part deuxLetter to My Former Lovers…<br />
<br />
<br />
When Chandra Kamaria suggested we share our experiences of love as a part of the “Sophisticated Ladies” Series, I immediately said yes. I literally jumped at the suggestion, and began making some notes in my head. <br />
<br />
There was no acrimony or bitterness, but an eagerness instead. Although there is a particular lover I’d love to “tell off,” when I look at the situation with my highest self, that of a fully developed, wholly empowered, well educated, family centered, Goddess infused matriarch in training, I understand fully, that that one particular lover was in pain, severely damaged, and acting out in the best result driven ways contained in his personal arsenal. <br />
<br />
Therefore, I’m able to say to him, despite his bad behavior, I understand. Because as I understand the source of his pain, I hope on some subliminal level that he also understood my passion. My drive to be coupled, to know him, and to join him on a journey of healing, something so valuable, was not something that could be forced. So, in knowing him, I also came face to face with my own impatience, stubbornness, and aggressive nature. All virtues in my professional struggles, but incredibly out of place in the loved filled space of a relationship. To this lover, I say thank you for being brave enough to stand on your no, when I was screaming yes. Your turning away, helped the true direction I needed to face. I am forever grateful for pointing out to me that my community holds all that I need. <br />
<br />
To the lover that worked to be my everything despite my resistance, know that your work was not done in vain…we met at the best and worst of times. When I needed a friend, which you were, but not a lover, which you became. Your presences and absences were always felt intensely. I missed your childlike rambunctiousness when you traveled, yet it was this same personality that disrupted my naturally introverted peace seeking nature when you were present. I thank you for being man enough to share with me what I taught you, and for allowing me to grow up enough to tell you what I learned from you. I am so grateful that we were able to go our separate ways, yet maintain what is still one of the strongest and most valuable friendships in my life.<br />
<br />
To the lover that should have been a summer romance, a fun and light affair, but unfortunately turned into a long drawn out and quite ugly and destructive union. I can only say that I am sorry. I hate that I didn’t trust myself enough to make the best decisions for the both of us. I’m disappointed that it was with you that I saw the ugliest parts of myself. The dissolution of our union forced me into a serious deep depression. A stripping down of myself and the questioning of everything I “thought” I knew. The scars were deep, and no doubt others had to pay for my experiences with you. The only regret I harbor is that our children, to this day, suffer the consequences of our past irresponsibility, vindictiveness and lack of communication. I've made my peace with the past, but it is tempered with the knowledge that some things can not be undone, and certain consequences are permanent.<br />
<br />
Finally…to the one who started it all. My high school sweetheart. My friend. You were there for me, supported me and loved me through all of my growing pains. When I needed a friend, you listened. When there were adventures to be had, you were at my side. You treated me like a lady, and acted like a gentleman. We exchanged our first kisses, and many other firsts, good and bad. I remember feeling grief over your deepest pains, and only disappointment at your lowest points, no matter how they affected me, I could never get angry with you. I am thankful for the shelter of our relationship throughout our child and young adult-hoods and thank you for releasing me when it was no longer safe to hold on.<br />
<br />
Now that we are adults, I am most thankful for your survival, your living and thriving. I am most impressed with the man you have become; holding on to your sanity, living your life as an artist and seeing opportunity at every turn. I have learned, after twenty years that you are still my friend. You are still the one who I would go anywhere with, my favorite companion for adventures. You are the shoulder on which I can always rest. You are my life partner, the one that I am eternally grateful to wake to and hear “Good Morning, my friend”Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-24161837553495825092012-05-03T00:16:00.000-05:002012-05-03T00:20:52.650-05:00An Open Letter to My Ex-Lovers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikIUeeGJ1BrDkxlt4kBcRaJHEl3X3Jkp4-onBcV0g1Hz3Zt3E-Knz4r1obg6A80BltQLZeBKYB1qbBV3UUYftXSRMVNvTi6KL0J4REthMmQQpN8XkpeDjhpyrE5nmcZdkKrfaMg3T_HYI/s1600/writing-a-letter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikIUeeGJ1BrDkxlt4kBcRaJHEl3X3Jkp4-onBcV0g1Hz3Zt3E-Knz4r1obg6A80BltQLZeBKYB1qbBV3UUYftXSRMVNvTi6KL0J4REthMmQQpN8XkpeDjhpyrE5nmcZdkKrfaMg3T_HYI/s320/writing-a-letter.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b>Note:</b> In the power of being a grown woman, a sophisticated lady as my sister Zenzile dubs it, I believe it necessary to make universal statements. These revelations spoken, or in this case written, out loud are for the express purpose of cleaning out my emotional closet so that I can welcome feelings for a new lover. I strongly encourage all of our readers to embrace your unexpressed feelings & to write an open letter to your ex-lovers so you can be wide open to experience the joy & beauty of loving again -- loving again without reservations, hesitations, or pent up frustrations. Here's my open letter as an example for you to follow.
---<br />
<br />
May 2, 2012<br />
10:19pm<br />
<br />
Dear Ex-Lovers:<br />
<br />
This is not a letter to bash or to speak ill will into your lives. I do not have a desire to avenge any hurt nor do I harbor anger for any of you beautiful brothas. Instead, this is a letter thanking you for your presence in my life. Without knowing you & loving you, I wouldn't know me or understand how I love. I realize that each one of you taught me something about who I am & for that, I will be forever grateful. Even though I hated it at the time, I appreciate those occasions when you called me out on my mess. I was wrong a lot and two of you didn't hesitate to tell me, even though you knew you'd be met with a few choice words for doing so.<br />
<br />
Over the years, I came to realize that it wasn't about me being too small to own up to my mistakes. No, it was something much deeper than that. I didn't want to be wrong in your eyes. I wanted you to see me as close to perfect as possible. Silly, I know. But that is my truth. You knew me better than I was willing to admit at the time. I didn't want to be that transparent. I felt you would have taken advantage of that so, deliberately, I tried to be evasive but neither one of you fell for that, thank God. <br />
<br />
One of you used to make me cry but you didn't know it. My pride wouldn't allow me to display such 'weakness' before you. That's why I preferred to keep a straight face & let my big mouth & cuss words do it all for me. It was a smoke screen. You were <i>so fine</i> to me and all I wanted to do was keep you, but somehow, when I tried to express that, the words would get stalled in my throat. That's why you couldn't grasp what I was saying. I wasn't telling you the whole truth. You went on with your life, doing what you wanted to do & I held a grudge against you for it. For some reason, I actually thought that you could read my mind & know that I wanted us to be together. Some years later, I was able to confess a lot to you and how I felt things went down between us. You confessed your wrongdoings & that was enough for me, but you took it a step further and healed me with your apology. Thank you.<br />
<br />
Yes, I remember you all well. From high school, you, my first love, wouldn't let me get off the phone in the late hours of the night until I told you that I loved you. It still puzzles me to this day why your life went in the direction that it did. When I was in undergrad, receiving your letters from prison, I couldn't respond because telling you how disappointed I was with you wasn't going to help your situation at all. However, I am thankful to God that your life is so much better now. You have a wife and a beautiful crop of children. You're doing well and that's a true blessing. To the scrawny cutie that would sneak out of his mama's house to come over just because I told him to, we are all grown up now & life is different for the both of us. I hope our recent argument won't sour our 20+ year friendship for good.<br />
<br />
To the preacher's kid, your letters brought big smiles to my face and made me feel so special knowing that a Navy man was somewhere with his mind on me. On Valentine's Day 1991, I cried on the way home from school because everyone was getting their gifts & you were in Afghanistan as part of Operation Desert Storm. But my heart leaped for joy when I opened that package left on my doorstep; a dozen red roses along with a card and a letter sent me into orbit. Please forgive me for breaking up with you once I got to college. It was for the best because I knew I wasn't going to be faithful.<br />
<br />
To the one who laid beside me as I received a late night phone call with bad news about a family member, I thank you for consoling me that night. On another note, you have the goofiest laugh but I enjoyed hearing it, especially when I was acting silly! Even though we couldn't ever get our thing together, I still had a great time hanging out with you shooting pool & cooking for you.<br />
<br />
There were so many good times; lots of laughter, intimate moments, painful moments, and frustration with all of you. I cherish each of those moments, not because I desire to rekindle our affairs, but because they were all stepping stones to me becoming a mature woman, capable of loving without any fear and knowing how to deal with the issues that arise when a man & a woman are in love. Even though I had you for a certain time in my life, I thank you for preparing me for him -- the one I'm ready to love as soon as time & space allows. I pray sincerely that God blesses each of you abundantly & that you are blessed with much love because each of you deserve it.<br />
<br />
Love Always,<br />
Chandra<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-43379663182063743132012-04-23T20:26:00.000-05:002012-04-23T20:53:36.953-05:00"It" Girl or Sophisticated Lady...pondering modern maturity<b>‘It’ Girl or Sophisticated Lady?</b><br />
<br />
Hello Lovelies!!! We hope your love life has been as active, interesting or as full of misadventure as ours…as we always say, the LoveJonesLifestyle is not for the faint of heart!<br />
<br />
Chandra Kamaria and I consider ourselves <i>trendsetters</i>…we often read about things we’ve talked about on LJL or in our personal lives months or in one case, years later, and because we know the power and importance of setting trends, especially when it comes to the image, lives and voice of <b>Big Girls in the City</b>, we regularly ponder and recommit to maintaining our space and voice in cyberspace.
We explore the net relentlessly; reading news, online magazines, checkin’ out new tweeters and even examining the latest technology and social trends. Lately we’ve been discussing one of our favorite social networking sites, <a href="http://www.twitter.com/Kamaria7">Twitter</a>.<br />
<br />
While our lives have been enriched by the community space, connection to fellow artists and art connoisseurs and basic awareness and information exchange that <a href="http://www.twitter.com/ZenzilesWay">Twitter</a> offers, we’ve also become incredibly concerned about the representation we’ve seen of our sisters in tweeting.
Obviously twitter is a social networking space, but it is also a space that provides real community if we allow it. And this, the social space of community, is what fuels our concern. Chandra brought it to my attention that there are literally hundreds (if not thousands) of young black women (or who represent themselves as such) who have embraced the “‘it’ girl” persona. You’ve seen the Facebook meme about “<a href="http://www.georgiamae.com/2011/12/15-things-black-girls-love-to-do-on.html">things _____ girls do on Facebook</a>” no doubt, and if you’re in a certain demographic, you’ve also seen the hoards of young girls who describe themselves as “models” or “model-type” but are shown posing in their bathroom mirrors, not on a runway.
I’ve got to give it to the sisters for their creativity; I often see really cute outfits, makeup and hairstyles. But, come on, who are we kidding? These young ladies are not models and often have no plans, careers or any other aspect of their real lives that would put them on track to model…anything!<br />
<br />
So we ask, what propels these women to represent themselves as such? Is the obsession with the Hollywood manufactured and determined “it” girl so pervasive that regular women around the way have forgotten the allure of the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2AJoRtuYfo">around the way girl</a>!? Have they neglected natural Black beauty in exchange for a fantasy of fame (or infamy), facades and well, fakeness?<br />
<br />
Now, far be it from us to pass judgment on any other sister and how she chooses to represent herself, but we, as intellectual and artistic women have to pose the question, WHY is the “it” girl the representation that so many young sisters are choosing? What is the attraction to expressing oneself with an attitude that causes you to answer the Location question with the response “everywhere you’re not”?
I mean, come on, we all know the “I’m just doing me, love me or hate me” blurb is a childish way to say “I don’t have to behave because ‘I’m grown’ and I don’t want to be called out on my bad behavior”, right?<br />
<br />
As women who desire the experience of love (and we ALL need to be loved) and support others in getting the healthy love they need and want, Chandra Kamaria and I have an obligation to not only promote getting said love, but also highlighting ways we block love from our lives, so that we can remove those blocks and get to the good part!<br />
<br />
So it is in the spirit of love that WE offer the beautiful songs, artistic expressions and models of womanhood that helped us get to be the sophisticated ladies we are today…because an it girl is just that, an ‘it’…dehumanized, an object of admiration until the public tires of her…a ‘girl’, a not yet fully actualized woman…and none of our sisters deserves to be dehumanized and disposed of, we all need space to grow, to self actualize, and receive the love we all want need and deserve.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned for the "Sophisticated Lady Series...music, photos and maybe even some special treats...and in the meantime tell us what you are doing to get to a healthy love.
What models of womanhood showed you how to mature and value YOU? How are you living your LoveJonesLifestyle???Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-89188191103215031292012-02-06T12:21:00.000-06:002012-02-06T12:21:31.802-06:00The Truth about LJLThe truth...it's something Chandra Kamaria and I have been grappling with in our love lives, as well as artistic endeavors. What we know, is that there are multiple truths, never just one, and life, at it's fullest consists of navigating those truths, honoring our true selves and walking our divinely appointed paths.<br />
<br />
While we've both contributed to LJL, often our lives and lifestyles are not conducive to our consistent contribution. We are artists, we love art, we love creation and we love love. We entered 2012 with a huge jolt back into reality, defined by pushing our dreams forward and seeing the deepest desires of our hearts come into fruition. <a href="http://www.harkinshouse.net/">Harkin's House Productions</a> completed it's official launch into 2012 with a weekend long open house and film showcase. <a href="http://www.redheartfilms.com/">Red Heart Films</a> and <a href="http://www.zenzilesway.com">Zenzile's Way</a> began filming it's first documentary film <i>Curvaceous</i>. Amid our professional success, we've also begun to explore the options for love. <br />
<br />
We've entered into several discussions of what love means and looks like IN the midst of a Love Jones Lifestyle. Our current contemplation is open relationships and polyamory. As artists and creators, our work is on a constant tightrope, as we attempt to balance our creative selves, the demands of family, day jobs and our very real needs as youthful, attractive, socially active women. While we work to sustain ourselves, our need to create and our desire to love and be loved, we've considered the reality of what fits in our lives, and how. We've engaged in a continually evolving discussion of what love looks like, our specific needs, and what we can actually contribute. A discussion of polyamory presents the options that could very well fit our lives and lifestyles. It's not something we'd embark on on a whim, and definitely not a lifestyle for the faint of heart, but nothing about the Love Jones Lifestyle is. <br />
<br />
So far, we've only concluded that there is more work to do. While we've agreed to follow what life has presented us with, to be honest with ourselves, and to remain devoted to our art, we can only deal with the truths of our lives. Truth 1. we want love Truth 2. we will remain open. We will keep you posted on our progress, our learnings, our discussions and our challenges...who knows, maybe there's a podcast in our future!<br />
<br />
In the meantime, tell us how YOU live YOUR Love Jones Lifestyle. How do you balance love and life in the creative class?Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-674816635315820052011-12-21T00:34:00.000-06:002011-12-21T00:34:23.241-06:00It has come to this...I run<br />
I hide<br />
I deny<br />
I lie<br />
<br />
But you...<br />
have uncovered the shame<br />
the suppressed likes<br />
charged me for the stolen glances<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFwVA4dwjPuUgIynnhsbRMEbqO8XCfmScYmNQw1imANgxDGmDNTZCrl0gJTZmMQ8Zseg2OfSHJHmsjEZ4Rb8Wn9jvmkHiD70YnBABWXvJ46hPjL3gIztBilOf8Pnk-GR9Q97X0G-bWv1MB/s1600/black-stallion-f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFwVA4dwjPuUgIynnhsbRMEbqO8XCfmScYmNQw1imANgxDGmDNTZCrl0gJTZmMQ8Zseg2OfSHJHmsjEZ4Rb8Wn9jvmkHiD70YnBABWXvJ46hPjL3gIztBilOf8Pnk-GR9Q97X0G-bWv1MB/s320/black-stallion-f.jpg" /></a></div><br />
and so<br />
I prepare<br />
stretching my legs<br />
arching my back<br />
deeply breathing in the cold December air<br />
getting ready to run<br />
<br />
but you are the stallion<br />
ever ready<br />
on my heels<br />
willing to go where ever I may try to hide.Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-12180876848144974162011-12-09T01:31:00.000-06:002011-12-09T01:31:13.280-06:00A Full Moon at Twelve: Thirty-Seven AMLate night ramblings are sticky and really shouldn't be attempted when sorting through life, especially at this part of the year. See, I find myself with more downtime than I care to have, simply because the year is officially over. For the most part, all plans are covering 2012 and these remaining days are spent in neutral mode; that leaves way too much time to just ponder and stumble on half-baked resolutions. It's also the holiday season which further complicates my ability to manage my moods throughout the winter season. Besides the overt commercialism and fleeting moments of goodwill, it's just too damn cold to do anything other than sit under a blanket stock still and pray the pilot light doesn't go out on the central heating. It wouldn't hurt to continue praying that I have money to pay these ridiculous utility bills, either.<br />
<br />
Late night ramblings leaves a person wide open, so consider me vulnerable right now. At the time of this writing, I'm very candid and subject to present some information that leaves me completely exposed. But that's the risk I'm willing to take, hell, I'm an artist so bearing my soul kinda comes with the territory. I've been spending the majority of the day and night going over the year and its happenings. Many of the things that I had planned for my company didn't go along as it should, so I found myself shutting down in October to plan again, waiting to strike out fresh for 2012. For a little while, I was pretty miffed about that until one of my sweet male friends gave me a new spin on it. Once I unloaded my frustrations to him one night at Starbuck's, he merely shrugged his shoulders and said, 'That just sounds like growing pains to me. Typical stuff that comes with running a company. Just pull yourself together and keep going.' That reassurance made all of the difference. I did what he said. <br />
<br />
As for my 'love life', that little situation with that certain Mister has officially come to a close for good, as far as I'm concerned. Five years. On again. Off again. Promises made. Promises broken. Patience. Understanding. Communication. Poor follow through. Minimal effort. All of that. For five years, y'all....and it's just over. Done. And I am just fine about it. <br />
<br />
"It's like BOOM, Son. Grown woman, making decisions and choices....." <br />
<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jwS76xUqirc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
So, here I am, somewhere I really didn't expect to be -- searching again. Truth be told, I wanted to be done with the search. I just wanted to have this part of my life sealed up so I can completely focus on working in purpose. But no, here I am, damming up this Reservoir of Good Loving and activating my Infrared Bullshit Detector. But you know what, I find myself jaded -- almost exhausted with the whole dating thing now. I don't want to play by the rules anymore, instead, I want to make it up as I go along. Blame it on my ever-growing maturity and my near-precision dream chasing. Blame it on my need to simplify the hell outta this shit so I can stop being so perplexed about the Why, the How Come, the When, and What If. I had a refreshing glass of Fuck It! Juice recently and I just can't see me getting real deep about this thing anytime soon. That energy can be better spent somewhere else, ya dig? <br />
<br />
I'm finding myself just unwilling to go through any motions and I'm getting a bit selfish. I think, at this point, I'm gonna make this all about me for a little while. Don't worry. I will take extra careful measures to protect them from me, so I won't be blamed for tainting any brothas -- I couldn't have that on my conscience. I'll be completely honest and free so they can walk into the set up with their eyes wide shut. <br />
<br />
Now, what do I mean by all of this? Well, I'm in the process of making a major transition in my life and while I would have preferred to already have my man attached to me while I make these moves, that's not the case -- and I have to be willing to admit that it may not be the case for some time now. Such is the quandary of this lifestyle. It seems as though the simplest of things become the most difficult to attain so you have to be willing to dismantle and reprogram, shut down and reboot. You get the idea. So, yeah, am I the only one sitting up late at night, pondering and surmising how to move forward after the so-called Sure Thing stopped being so sure? Don't let me and Zenzile hanging, share with us. Let's get through this mess together. <br />
<br />
It's 1:26am. Damn, I need a cuddle buddy.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-63256341437787648392011-11-10T02:13:00.002-06:002011-11-10T02:38:17.333-06:00For all those lives you've ruined...It's the <a href="http://soundcloud.com/fathom-9/fathom-9-no-hooks-revenge-of">Revenge of the Nice Guy</a>! you know you've listened to some crap rap, some trap rap, some rap about cars, booty and dope slanging...you thought you did it in secret, until you accidentally burst out with the chorus at the wrong place, the wrong time and in the wrong crowd...Um hmm, it's ok, we've all done it.<br />
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However, no "deed" goes unpunished, and for that, we're now subject to Revenge...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8qm0S7spFeYJIX-xRGTKcMjGPgJPFNIWQwvqOfepHpt1IimuXtKG-MY8-frnoHP7PJoH-TTXFN5NCD46EBoCRPtyhdb-ree5Wt6Nz1H7E5A7NvgakNokJzAIF3Cq4_E4fLBkQcH3xnIpG/s1600/Fathom9+album+cover.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:right; float:right; margin-left:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8qm0S7spFeYJIX-xRGTKcMjGPgJPFNIWQwvqOfepHpt1IimuXtKG-MY8-frnoHP7PJoH-TTXFN5NCD46EBoCRPtyhdb-ree5Wt6Nz1H7E5A7NvgakNokJzAIF3Cq4_E4fLBkQcH3xnIpG/s320/Fathom9+album+cover.JPG" /></a></div><br />
Fortunately for us mere humans, art, like god, teaches lessons through education, not punishment. <a href="http://soundcloud.com/fathom-9">Fathom 9</a>, a steady presence on the hip hop scene in Memphis who has taken his work across the Northeast, from Chicago to New York and back in various incarnations such as the <a href="http://http://fathom9.bandcamp.com/album/the-genesis-experiment-origin-unknown">Genesis Experiment</a> and IMC or <a href="http://illmaterial.com/iron-mic-coalition-imc-anthem/38">Iron Mic Coalition</a> serves his revenge with fervor serving not to decimate (although lesser emcees would argue that point) but to explicate. To provide for the neophyte and hip hop aficionado alike a return to (or example of) a musical form that is simultaneously a critique, a cry and the language of an entire culture.<br />
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With the theme of "revenge", Fathom9 modeled his show and album release after the film/comic V for Vendetta, releasing the work on the fifth of November and the cameo appearance of a legion of masked V's in the audience. Primed for a revolution through terrorizing lesser emcee's, the city of Memphis and visitors from the tri-state area were served with quite the COLD dish!<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/Lottalox">Deneka Lottalox</a> started the set with a couple of smooth songs before she really opened up and gave us the live version of Black Girls Rock. Her voice, emotion, and lyricism were all showcased in her performance of original work that the world desperately needs.<br />
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By the time Fathom9 graced the stage, the audience had been treated to work from both The Genesis Experiment and the Iron Mic Coalition, a nice lead up to the main event. When Fathom9 appeared there was a palpable sense that he was not alone; the crowd was with him. A literal huddle formed, as supporters and fans alike formed a protective circle along the periphery of the stage to indulge themselves in the historic moment. The official ass kicking and name taking that was Revenge!!!! As a fan and supporter, after months of hearing snippets, sneak peaks, sample tracks and verses, I still was not prepared for the full force of Fathom's voice, music and presence in the same place and at the same time. The emcee's energy level was incredible. Fathom delivers spitfire verses with a power and force that can only be described as a dominating passion. <br />
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Revenge is the perfect title as Fathom broke down the problems of the music industry, so called artists, his community and society in general. Through his lyricism alone, he demands and dares other "rappers" to step their game up. His self- produced music, which he explained were generated from the inability to find beats intense enough for his material yet sophisticated enough for his sensibilities, are a cultured mix. In the concert space, familiar sounds from the past juxtaposed themselves against the imagery of the present, the energy of the crowd and the emotional release we all felt, finally absolving us of our sins. Dipped in the waters of true hip hop, our musical vices were no more...<br />
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Fathom9's music is intense enough to rattle your bones and complex enough to unravel your mind. Revenge has been exacted.If you need to get your musical soul washed, start <a href="http://www.emusic.com/listen/#/album/Fathom-9-Brotherhood-of-Doom-Revenge-of-the-Nice-Guy-MP3-Download/12906711.html">here</a>, buy the album, then let us know how YOU live, the LoveJonesLifestyle.Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-80397180118223740472011-11-02T21:25:00.000-05:002011-11-02T21:25:10.418-05:00"The Lonely Type"As the massive snowstorm on the East coast has shown us, despite what the calendar says, Winter has arrived; skipping completely over fall, bringing with it all of the complications, irritations, and unfortunate limitations.<br />
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Winter, with its shortened days, long dark nights, drops in temperature, and rise in layers of clothing reinforces the harshest aspects of the human condition, our loneliness, and our attempts at escaping said loneliness with various holidays centered around gathering together with our community, family and loved ones. <br />
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For those of us attempting to live the LoveJonesLifestyle, loneliness often becomes our second nature. We work, following our own paths, as artists, writers, musicians and filmmakers and playwrights. Our work is something we not only <i>do</i> but often <i>are</i>. We work because ours is a labor of love, not of convenience. Our work is often a fulfillment of lifelong goals and dreams and we get so caught up in it that by the time we look up, we may find that life, in many ways has passed us by. <br />
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The LoveJonesLifestyle is one built on and based in community. We work to remain connected to one another, our art and the larger communities, families and friendships that we have managed to knit together over the years. While the stereotype may be of the lone writer hunched over a desk, or a sole artist poised in front of a canvas, we work in cooperation. We connect with one another not only for fellowship, but for survival. Although our work is solitary, we are very social creatures. I encourage you to engage in some serious artistic self-care this season. Give yourself permission to step away from your work, if only briefly. Reconnect to your community. Call up a sister artist and invite her to lunch or tea. And as always, tell us how YOU deal with the lonely times in your LoveJonesLifestyle.Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-70365851195776999832011-10-02T17:59:00.000-05:002011-10-02T17:59:10.374-05:00Cotton Candy & Fighting with the Nip in the Air<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIs1St7PZKq6LHgnVUqABHgOCRS7aKai42ty0HYhViR4HeQCWq31Yhlqyq4idEBAWzHJzXkL2cJ38JjHu6LKNYIFWFLqNFOfA3zRoayWcLuIlzcGsoI59LAiIWf9V3wEjbnz4Pbd-qYeQ/s1600/42-27068843.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIs1St7PZKq6LHgnVUqABHgOCRS7aKai42ty0HYhViR4HeQCWq31Yhlqyq4idEBAWzHJzXkL2cJ38JjHu6LKNYIFWFLqNFOfA3zRoayWcLuIlzcGsoI59LAiIWf9V3wEjbnz4Pbd-qYeQ/s320/42-27068843.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I've been craving cotton candy for the past few days now. In love with the confection ever since I was a young girl, my trips to the State Fair wasn't complete without my annual rides on the Zipper, the Himalaya, the Round Up, and my treat of cotton candy. I thoroughly enjoyed the stickiness of it on my fingers and how it melted on my tongue. It wasn't until I was a teenager hanging out with a serious crush that I realized cotton candy had another effect and other uses as well. Ha! Anyway, here I am, seriously in need of a big bag of cotton candy so I can chase away the blues brought on by the onset of Fall and the ensuing Winter days ahead. For the record, I don't like Fall/Winter, mostly because I don't like cold weather and all of the clothes I have to wear to stay warm. <br />
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At the time of this writing, my central heat has been on since last night-- I believe the temp was about 50 something degrees....and it's only October. So, you can imagine how I am during the dead of Winter. My temp setting hovers around 80 degrees because I like it toasty. While I will stop short of saying that I deal with the clinical version of seasonal depression, I will say that I struggle a bit with being my lively self when it comes nippy days and nights. It's just something a bit sad about watching the leaves fall from the trees and that constant nip in the air that whisks around my face. It's a good thing that I have football season. <br />
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The Fall/Winter is also the unofficial start of Boo Season, humorously dubbed so because it seems as though single people make an extra special effort to land a Boo so they can keep their toes warm during the short days and long nights. The thought behind Boo Season is that the current Boo is supposed to take one through the holidays, including Valentine's Day but as soon as the days begin warming up again, one can ceremoniously cut their Boo loose so that they can frolic and enjoy the bees of Summer (read: have happy little Summer flings). While I use the term from time to time, I really don't care much for its connotation. But then, I don't care much for anything that trivializes the beautiful process of blossoming love affairs and relationships. <br />
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Here, at the LJL, we're continuing to experience the dynamics of our love lives, while searching deep within to uncover some honest truths about who we are and what we really want. I will have more time than Zenzile, perhaps, because I'm deeply engaged in the business of shutting down social activities so I can focus on writing and planning for 2012. My Summer left something to be desired and, if anything, it proved to me that I gotta work harder to produce and grow. My theory is that my love life will blossom even more once I'm free from the confines of the corporate slum. So, that's my agenda for the coming months--get free and focused before it warms up again. As a single gal, my voluntary existence of being a Shut In/Recluse for the Fall/Winter doesn't sound exciting and you would think I would do my part to find social outlets to meet a potential Boo for the chilly nights. <br />
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But, that's not my challenge. I'm not exactly worried about meeting someone as I'm in deep thought about how to approach and manage a potential situation that can become quite complicated. You know how it is -- it starts off being clear cut and easy to read, then some words are said -- and the next thing you know, it's that gray matter that leaves you guessing, wondering, and trying to figure out what move you need to make. At the same time, I'm also at conflict with my usual 'cover every angle' approach, desiring to just caste all weight aside and dive right in. You see, I don't know what delicious excitement awaits me if I just dismantle my guard and let 'somebody walk up behind me and kiss me on my neck' -- Erykah Badu style, ya dig? Maybe I can get it on this Winter and put it down just like Noel Gourdin's 'Summertime'. Might be the best way to fight the nip in the air, ya know? <br />
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So, what's your plans for the upcoming Chilly Season? <br />
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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/iP-R_WajkpM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-2159776922888960422011-09-06T12:51:00.000-05:002011-09-06T12:51:36.943-05:00The Sista By His Side....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc3z_E1ghmVZHosgVEJc2sf6BvEU87IDiAO37BIGF_OkiWaHRVKySUPR2YX-l8yGU1gFl9N9OFnnad54cjUChufDDqRADIp0jqgMEOQl9ZNYLzOk9KRduuFj5kaaoO3QRPukqjuNFzZv0/s1600/blackbeltjones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc3z_E1ghmVZHosgVEJc2sf6BvEU87IDiAO37BIGF_OkiWaHRVKySUPR2YX-l8yGU1gFl9N9OFnnad54cjUChufDDqRADIp0jqgMEOQl9ZNYLzOk9KRduuFj5kaaoO3QRPukqjuNFzZv0/s320/blackbeltjones.jpg" /></a></div>This photo still is taken from the 1974 motion picture, <i>Black Belt Jones</i>, starring Jim Kelly & Gloria Hendry. If you've ever seen the movie, then you would know that Gloria portrayed martial arts expert, Sydney, whose father was killed by the mob so her and Black Belt Jones set out to exact revenge. That's a typical set up for a Blaxploitation-era film. Nevertheless, in studying this photo some thirty something years later, the most striking aspect about it is the power stance of both Jones and Hendry. As you can see, neither one of them are cowering in fear as they willingly take on enemies stronger than the two of them. In the context of Black relationships, this photo speaks volumes. For one, Hendry's positioning beside Jones allows us to reason that she is far from being a damsel in distress. She doesn't need her bills paid, her children cared for, nor does she need to be wined and dined. In other words, she doesn't need saving as she has the ability to hold her own. Most importantly, she is standing side by side with her man, ready to fight with him. <br />
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The latter is the reason why I think so many men dig this picture. Countless rap and R&B songs have been made by male artists referring to the kind of woman that they want in their lives. She is almost always confident, independent, and more than anything, supportive. <br />
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In intimate conversations with male friends, they often lament about Black women and their lack of support. Any Black man worth his salt is fully aware of the odds against him and while he is more than eager to suit up in his armor and prove as many people wrong about his Black man-ness as he can, the war would be a lot easier if he had a woman by his side, ready to engage in battle with him. In that sense, many brothas feel like they have been let down. Oftentimes, they meet women who exhuberantly dole out their demands in a relationship without leaving much room for men to have their say. Most men know what's expected of them and tend to move directly into that role, but many of us, on the other hand, assume that we know what our men want. <br />
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Yes, cooking, cleaning, and giving him great sex is most appreciative, but....do you support the man's dreams and goals? Are you willing to go the distance with him as he embarks upon a destiny that will be difficult alone? Over here at the Lifestyle, it is our belief that even if a woman can't boil water, if her man knew that she was down for him like four flat tires and will ride with him no matter the season or the reason, he will happily eat take-out every night for the rest of his life....or else, he won't have any problem with doing most of the cooking. <br />
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So, why is this kind of support so important to a man? We'd love to hear some feedback from the brothas.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-19440623814401921202011-08-16T15:01:00.001-05:002011-08-16T15:09:27.388-05:00"I'm Open": The Beauty of Emotional Vulnerability<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEmtWbGluh-klY4GIHqyy0TArAtcg2o11JxCb-jA8RshYdcO5Y5nyNAPq5klj8mMhU3MuW1jjAY0BPYvLq8MXppi3PZVNNYHPtb3-ggyD0burVbw1I3AWsUVQvFGtYpW7AOhGiwOlS3UE/s1600/sistacrying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="213" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEmtWbGluh-klY4GIHqyy0TArAtcg2o11JxCb-jA8RshYdcO5Y5nyNAPq5klj8mMhU3MuW1jjAY0BPYvLq8MXppi3PZVNNYHPtb3-ggyD0burVbw1I3AWsUVQvFGtYpW7AOhGiwOlS3UE/s320/sistacrying.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Whether we admit it or not, all of us have veils to cover our faces and fortresses around our hearts. Anything that will reveal the depth of our emotions is generally shielded from the piercing eyes of judgmental people, the predatory methods of leeches, and from those people that are looking to us for their guidance and support (we call it a show of strength). With the increasing onset of technology and how it has radically changed the way we communicate, we can easily express our thoughts without unearthing our emotional states. I have heard about breakups that happened via text message and Facebook. On the flip side, sexting has taken the place of raw and intimate conversations, which somehow renders the exchange as fruitless and unsexy. To me, it really can't get any more impersonal as that. Slowly, we're morphing into robots....and, unfortunately, many of us are okay with that. <br />
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Can you remember the last time you cried? If you do, will you admit it? Well, I can. It was this past weekend. I cried because I was broke...and I cannot <b><i>stand</i></b> being broke, especially when I think I <i><b>shouldn't</b></i> be financially strapped. Now, it wasn't one of those cries infused with hysterical sobbing (although I've been capable of a few of those), but rather one of those misty-eyed, six teardrop joints that would have readily indicated to anyone present that I wasn't happy. See, I cried alone -- and I didn't have to tell you that. But I did. It ain't no thang to me. I live in a constant space of <b>Open</b> because being emotionally vulnerable, from time to time, is a survival tactic for me. Through a free release of emotions, I'm able to keep my perspective about things, believe it or not. <br />
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It doesn't stop there with crying. My range of emotions can be covered through other forms of expression -- including profanity or cussing, which is, honestly, a personal favorite of mine. :-) Over the years, I tried to appease the traditional posturing when it comes to women and cussing.<br />
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"It's unlady-like to cuss." <br />
"Christians shouldn't cuss." <br />
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Bullshit. Sometimes, a well placed 'shit' or 'fuck' can relieve the soul of unnecessary tension, leading to correctness in cognitive thinking because your emotions are not all dammed up and affecting that ability anymore. Ok, before I go any further, please understand that I am not talking about some kind of erratic emotional behavior. Besides, that kind of behavior is the result of someone who has tried to do too much 'cool-posing' and worked too hard to control their emotions. Then, they just break down. That's unhealthy. Emotional releases lead to balance, at least, I tend to think so.<br />
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Look, Life can do some underhanded things to us. It can unravel the best laid plans, unsuspectingly crush dreams, and mock desires in such a way that we will erroneously believe that things will never get better, or worse, we start thinking that we don't serve any purpose in the world. Our emotions is the gateway to clarity, which is essentially freedom. By actually 'feeling' for just a little while, we can cope better and come to terms with the fact that we may need a better game plan or clean house and confront some things in the Relationship Department. <br />
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Emotional releases can also uncover some insecurities we've hidden behind our accomplishments, reveal character flaws or overindulgence in bad habits. Whatever the case, to merely brush the effect off with a wave of nonchalance or faking strength can be dangerous sometimes. Our strength is not in walling up our emotions and putting on a tough face, but rather, it's in the acknowledgement of our hurt, anger, sadness, loneliness, fear, etc. Then, if we have to cry it out or cuss it out, so be it. Once we've dried our noses and the anger has subsided, there is an openness. At first, it may feel odd but embrace it because now you're ready to handle the matter at hand, perhaps in a way of brilliance that you would have never suspected. <br />
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Now, what does this have to do with the Love Jones Lifestyle? EVERYTHING. On this journey, we have to bear in mind that it's the Road Less Traveled and while there's fewer people, it's a bumpier road fraught with obstacles, disappointments, unexpected happenings, and broken expectations. You cannot afford to live according to Purpose and think that everything will align itself accordingly. On the contrary, the Status Quo lifestyle promises to be much smoother and easier to navigate because there's a blueprint. With the Love Jones Lifestyle, it's a lot like that compass that Captain Jack Sparrow had in the <i>Pirates</i> movies. Remember? The compass pointed in the direction of what his heart wanted the most -- and then he set sail. A map either didn't exist or it was created with some cryptic code that had to be deciphered. Regardless, there isn't an easy way and no shortcuts. Given those circumstances, it will behoove you to capture those specific times in your life when releasing your emotions are critical. It helps, also, to sob it out with a trusted ally. If there isn't an ally available, cry out to God in the middle of your living room. Go ahead! I do it all the time. <br />
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All I'm saying is, in the midst of your beautiful struggle, just remember that you are beautifully human.<br />
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Amen? <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-10866576476240058092011-08-06T14:42:00.001-05:002011-08-06T17:50:23.062-05:00All Falls Down...It's August, and the summer is nearing its end. Although we're still experiencing heat in the 100's, the calendar hearkens us back to school, work, and the serious contemplation of the upcoming autumnal retirement of nature into planet Earth's long sleep.<br />
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Undoubtedly, its been a summer full of fun and adventure for me and Kamaria, although at the risk of speaking for both of us, its certainly not ending the way we expected. Over the last couple of weeks, we've both become acutely aware of life changing moves that need to be made. Our careers, which we firmly believe in creating, no matter what the external circumstances, are becoming more concretely defined, and "real." While we are both excited about the future possibilities, we are grappling with the current realities of letting go, in order to move forward. <br />
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We are creators, and sometimes in the process of creating, we end up excavating our pasts, looking back, reflecting, recognizing exactly what has influenced us as well as what forces shaped our outlooks. We analyze our successes and failures, and yet, look forward to creating a new path.<br />
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When a new artist named Kanye dropped a song about a girl dropping out of college, staying in town doing hair, and having an unplanned pregnancy, I listened in awe...<br />
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I mean, no one (aside from <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4OJz0GK1d4">Talib Kweli</a> and Common) was rapping about women's real situations, self esteem, being insecure, racism and the materialism we use to cover it all up in the 2000's. Needless to say, I was smitten. <br />
But what really touched me was how REAL the situation was that Kanye talked about. The necessity to create a new path, to figure a way out of situations that don't turn out quite how we expected. To deal with the pain of just letting go as he shows us in the video...his eye/camera lens welling up with tears just before closing. <br />
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That letting go is the mantra we've been working with over here at LJL. Letting go of some of the people, places, and expectations even, that we've held close to our hearts in order to get closer to where we really are supposed to be. This, is the process not only of the artist, but also of life itself. A series of letting go in order to move forward. One of the things that we find is that there are interesting surprises along the way. The most important thing we've found is that when it all falls down, you suddenly have the tools to build back up.<br />
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What have you had to give up in order to move forward into your LoveJonesLifestyle?Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-58216408761640639312011-06-16T23:25:00.000-05:002011-06-16T23:25:29.697-05:00Redistributing Your Energy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguO2LONFDL53p1IJRGSL0RPe7Tu-P7S2Bg6Mnj80azzCQweVZh61p7AyOfDmVSOy7LIr-G4Y6YtOfvAcBDsBe8F14vK3xKnJq4nHo4uWzva7t_GnhmDqjeRHR4ImPDkm_W4l79Tan5EaTl/s1600/Stonehenge+Summer+Solstice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="201" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguO2LONFDL53p1IJRGSL0RPe7Tu-P7S2Bg6Mnj80azzCQweVZh61p7AyOfDmVSOy7LIr-G4Y6YtOfvAcBDsBe8F14vK3xKnJq4nHo4uWzva7t_GnhmDqjeRHR4ImPDkm_W4l79Tan5EaTl/s320/Stonehenge+Summer+Solstice.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Well, Obviously, we here at LoveJonesLifestyle have been putting energy into things other than LoveJonesLifestyle. Again, not for lack of Love, but for the Lifestyle! <br />
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We've been busily crafting and creating, planning and implementing. Admittedly, I've taken a brief vacation, but even my vacations involve "work." I spent the week mentoring, teaching, and creating with a group of dynamic young people who dream of future careers in the arts. Seeing their energy, or lack of energy around certain people, topics, and activities served as a great reminder to me, and how I implement my own LoveJonesLifestyle. <br />
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As I go about completing my last year of school, planning for my business, networking with artists, clients, scholars and coaches and of course being a family member (mama, auntie, cousin, sister) I become more and more clear on the need for focus, planning and strategic direction of my energy.<br />
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I've been alone, and have worked independently long enough to recognize my work style, my best conditions for work, the purpose in my work, and the signs my body, environment and the universe reveal to me for my safety and productivity. <br />
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Living the LoveJonesLifestyle often entails a lot of hard work. It entails prioritizing, laser like focus, and oftentimes a denial of all things frivolous or that would block your creativity, energy and productivity.<br />
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Having said that, I'm headed into a laser like focus over the next three months that will hopefully pay off exponentially in the academic, business, and health areas of my life. As we head into the summer solstice in less than a week, what are some of the ways you plan on redirecting your energy to get to your ultimate LoveJonesLifestyle?Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-1034530305890631452011-05-24T15:45:00.002-05:002011-05-24T16:03:30.028-05:00Sap Rising<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFd82bkNBu5hFl0r6xpsgY_oegy_yZ6EFBOn4H91bZX8Mglo_ewiBNcCUIa0AjB7ltQTgvypbb43mYWsineZ2cs5C3j6OQCTJnOsEdxCgE5Wg1YIeyly8BVTsWuV2_q8XlLnrUSY-M2yo/s1600/j0406636.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFd82bkNBu5hFl0r6xpsgY_oegy_yZ6EFBOn4H91bZX8Mglo_ewiBNcCUIa0AjB7ltQTgvypbb43mYWsineZ2cs5C3j6OQCTJnOsEdxCgE5Wg1YIeyly8BVTsWuV2_q8XlLnrUSY-M2yo/s320/j0406636.jpg" /></a></div><br />
At this current posting, it's 85 degrees and mostly cloudy with a soft breeze. Butterflies and birds are beginning to take flight around us as front lawns start 'greening up'. It's a perfect day for lounging in a hammock or a porch swing to watch things blossom. On yesterday, after a rain shower, I saw a rainbow in full display, all the colors of red, blue, yellow and green were posted radiantly against the pregnant dark gray rain clouds. Now, I've seen plenty of rainbows thus far in my life, but I had yet to see one that went completely across the sky. I stood in that shopping center parking lot for at least 10 minutes while remnant raindrops and damp air moistened my 'Fro, just marveling at God's wonder. <br />
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For those of us down here in the South, we're shedding the skin that has kept us insulated from the crisp, chilly nips of Winter. My Southern sisters and I are pulling those frocks out of our closets that expose our golden brown body parts that the menfolk love so much and slipping well-pedicured feet into our favorite sandals, preparing ourselves for the rising temps and heat index warnings that are sure to follow soon. There's a euphoric, seductive aspect of Spring and Summer that entices us to release the tense posture of our shoulders; a common defense mechanism that we use to shield us from the brunt of the frigid air of Winter. It's also a posture that hides us from each other as we bundle up to <b>stay warm<i></i></b>. But, the Hot Season allows us to disarm ourselves, basically, and open up to the frolicking opportunities that lay ahead in the coming weeks. A certain kind of Feel-Good awakens in us and then we toss back and forth in fits of restlessness, literally peeling away our reclusiveness with each piece of heavy Winter clothing that's starting to get in our way.<br />
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So, naturally, this is the time of the year when hormones stir up joneses. The elders from my Mississippi hometown called it 'sap rising', a term that references the syrupy substance that trees produce in great quantities in the Spring and Summer. It's indicative of something coming back to life -- and in the case of human intimacy, this 'coming to life' is the love jones. I'm not sure if there's some scientific studies that point out whether more babies are born in the Winter or Summer, but I do know that it's something about warm weather and warm emotions that go hand in hand. <br />
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To me, it’s no surprise that warm weather enhances the jonesing buzz. You see, Winter is a time of barrenness when nature lets go of its pretty clothes in the form of leaves, flowers and colors to remain stark naked, refusing to give away any beauty, until the Earth moves closer to the Sun again. Since we're Children of the Sun, it's no wonder that, as our melanin-kissed skin browns up to our summer colors, we begin engaging in some imaginings of a person that has lit a pheromone fire in us. After all, it's just <b>nature<i></i></b>, right? If it seems as though I'm quite in tune with this phenomenon, it's because I am. You see, I discovered as a young girl that I'd rather be hot than cold any day. Take that however you like. As I evolved into a woman, I noticed that the Hot Season was always the time when I had my biggest crushes and most active intimate imagination. <br />
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Although I've been 'down in the valley' in recent years when it came to my love life, I was overjoyed to notice this past Friday night that everything is still in working order. I was among friends, reveling in an outdoor concert in the park with the New Orleans-bred <a href="http://www.rebirthbrassband.com">ReBirth Brass Band</a>. Between the city lights illuminating the clouds casting them in a purple puffiness in the night sky, the light drizzle, pleasant Spring breeze, and the vibe in the park, all compounded with the blazing sound of the horns, it seemed like the perfect setup for a movie-like encounter. <br />
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At one point, I moved closer to the stage to spend some time among the throngs of people tipping and bopping to the beat. It was obvious that we were all having a blast, Black, White, and otherwise were all on one accord as ReBirth brought the Funk. Without any deliberate attempts on my part, I saw him etching closer to me as I was spinning around, under the spell of the rhythm. Eventually, we were closed in by the people and standing in each other's space, enjoying that good moment between us. He towered over me (not like that's hard to do; I'm built low to the ground, er, I'm short) and I wiggled my hips like a Grown Woman can and should, when she's smitten by 'Manness'--that's an in-house LJL term for the special Something that only Black men possess and it can drive a sister wild when applied properly. <br />
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Anyway, not too long after we were brought together by the crowd, my mind drifted. I went to that exclusive space of sensual sweetness and wondered about him. Now, if you're looking for me to divulge the details of my fantastic erotic mind, you'll be waiting. A woman has to keep something to herself, right? I will inform you that I didn't act on anything; simply enjoyed the bliss of the mental ride through this unknown brother's inner workings. The results of the evening satisfied me well. He told me his name and all, but it really didn't matter. He'd actually met his assignment for the night, as far as I was concerned. Through his welcoming persona, he was able to just simply turn me on but not in an animalistic, unevolved, savage manner. He gave me the opportunity to bask in the flyness of an attraction and entertain the prospect of a new love affair, which just may find its way to me very soon, thanks to him. <br />
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So, yes, boys and girls, it's sap rising season and I'm glad about it. I feel extremely blessed to know that I haven't, as Darius Lovehall elegantly stated, exhausted the possibilities for romance. As this season sets in for us, have you been able to reawaken that something in you so that this season can feel brand new? If you have, tell us about it. <br />
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Enjoy yourselves. <br />
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C/KAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-86461399942151934842011-05-12T09:19:00.000-05:002011-05-13T15:46:43.249-05:00Manifesting Your VisionGreetings LJL Family! <br />
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As you can see, Chandra Kamaria and I have been...well, MIA. Yup, I said it. We have, but it is not without good reason...although there never really is a GOOD reason to leave you lovely folks hanging without a word, so my apologies for the hiatus, but we have been WORKING!!!<br />
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I dreamt up the topic Manifesting Your Vision, not because the <i>Lifestyle</i>, has gone all new agey, but because, well, that's what we've been doing. Part of the <i>Lifestyle</i> is living! <br />
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We are committed to manifesting many things: this blog, which we hope to use to create community and dialog among other dreamers, <a href="http://events.harkinshouse.net/">original stage plays</a>, which we use to provide entertainment of substance and quality to our community members, events which we use to support our goal of community building, and of course our poems, prose, research and commentary which we use to share our knowledge, perspectives and engage you all and our community in dialog. <br />
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I'm an extreme procrastinator, but when I get into something, I get completely into it, submerged, immersed. I've been so committed and engaged in projects that things like eating and sleeping become nuisances. There have been projects that I've worked on so intensely that I didn't leave my house for days. Yeah, it's that serious. So, how do I get to this place? How do I bridge the procrastination and make it to the dedication? Well, I use the bridge. The bridge, for me is an affirmation that I have taped to my bathroom mirror. It states, <br />
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<b>"I release all attributes that hinder my success.<br />
I claim the power of N.O.W. No Opportunity Wasted"</b><br />
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So, that's what I've been doing. I've been seizing each and every opportunity. Literally, I'm typing this in sweat soaked gym clothes because while working out, I got the idea for this post. Manifesting our vision requires time, focus, consistency, and most of all, using the NOW! <br />
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We are so thankful to you for joining us on the journey towards <i>our</i> ideal lifestyle, and want to hear how <b>YOU</b> are manifesting your vision, and living your <i>LoveJonesLifestyle</i>.Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-81787571427026997962011-04-08T23:01:00.000-05:002011-04-08T23:01:16.586-05:00Only the Lonely?This week has been a roller coaster ride for me...I discovered the country down home stylings of YouTube entertainer AARRONE99. I worked incredibly hard on multiple academic projects, had parenting challenges galore, and ended the week with a speaking engagement at which my principle audience was...Missing In Action.<br />
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Let's start with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNNFrwrNY2U">Aarrone99</a>. She's a self confident, outspoken, beautiful and intelligent woman who shares her observations and experiences live and uncensored. Her videos reflect her dispensing big girl/grown woman wisdom,<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvfzzUeN1uU">requests for dating advice</a>, her personal likes and dislikes as well as style and presentation tips. I say all of that to say, that Aarrone99 was not just entertainment this week, but a memory as well. Her posts reminded me of the types of conversations I had with my girls from back home, about how we were raised, the communal knowledge of women, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfudzhTVhEM">standards of beauty and self love</a>. Aarrone99's videos had me laughing and crying, and kept me company as I was up late night working and writing. Despite the humor, at the end of the day, AARRONE99's videos serve to remind me, and anyone who watches them that "everything and everybody just wants to be loved." <br />
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But then...well, for those of you that don't know, I'm a single mama, and raising up two young men "the way they should go", ain't easy on regular days...so when folks decide to cut up at school BEFORE nine a.m., you just kinda KNOW what type of day its' gonna be. With some reinforcements from the community (i.e. MALE community members), lots of communication, and a little bit of good old fashioned "fear of God"- style parenting, we got over that hump.<br />
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But, the best part of the week was that I was able to make some major progress on a project I was working on, as well as being invited to present my research at an education conference at the end of the month. On the other hand, I was seriously thrown for a loop, when after preparing a presentation for a student group, the group members who <i>needed</i> the information I was presenting failed to show up...Like I said, ups and downs... Reflecting on everything, I realized that I have been a seriously hard working sister! Which brings me to the flip side of all this stuff...the <b>LONELY</b>.<br />
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<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorraine_Hansberry">Lorraine Hansberry</a> has a quote, which has given me SO much insight into my life, my purpose and my reality. In <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Young-Gifted-Black-Signet-Classics/dp/0451531787/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1302320985&sr=8-2">To Be Young Gifted and Black</a>, she explains: <br />
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<blockquote>"Eventually it comes to you; the thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which must also make you lonely." <br />
</blockquote>When I read this I immediately identified with it. I consider myself to simply be Zenzile...but when I write it all out on paper, or look at my schedule, or think about my responsibilities, as a single woman, a mother, a doctoral student, a blogger, a mentor, a community member, a daughter, sister, aunt, public speaker, editor, writer, job seeker and future business owner, I KNOW, that I am exceptional, and I understand, because of the hierarchy of demands to secure survival and existence that I am oftentimes <i>lonely</i> But, does it have to be this way? <br />
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Tell me LJL family,is an <b>exceptional</b> life only for the lonely? <br />
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Are exceptional people/lives/experiences like candles, shining brightly yet so warm that no one can get close, forever a beacon but never touched?Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-25328225308928639372011-03-28T21:42:00.000-05:002011-03-28T21:42:52.290-05:00LOVE or SEX...The "Talk"<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7ovf52H5ydg?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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We here at LJL were just kids when Mary J. Blige burst onto the scene, belting out this now classic song about a young woman in search of <i>LOVE</i> well, <b>REAL</b> <i>LOVE</i> that is...Now, we're old enough to BE parents/co-parents, aunties, "big" cousins, and godmothers. Now, we are in the driver's seat when it comes to defining and framing <i>LOVE</i> for the next generation. WE are now responsible for setting the tone on what is and is not acceptable, for separating truths from locker room fictions, and for guidance on how to digest all the emotions that come with those biological, hormonal, social and emotional changes that the young men and women in our lives will soon undergo. <br />
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<i>How is it that time has passed us so swiftly? <br />
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Who said that just because we're OLDER that we're any wiser? <br />
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Do we have what it takes to set a youngster on the right path? </i><br />
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Recently a close friend called with dread in his voice. He was sorry to announce that it was time for THE TALK with his thirteen year old son. Having done sex ed programming for teen girls in an area with a high teen pregnancy rate as a Girl Scout, as an RA in college, and as a mother to two preteen boys, I had "the talk" down pat. I also knew that there wasn't just one "talk". <br />
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<b>The "talk" was and is actually a conversation; a never-ending one at that.<br />
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The phone call, coupled with a realization I had a few days earlier inspired this post. I reminisced back on my school days, when I asked my parents straight out, when could I have a boyfriend. My mother, ever the practical parent simply replied, "When you can balance your school work and your social life" Well, I had been going to school and playing outside pretty well since elementary school.In middle school, my grades were always good, and I was never in trouble.<br />
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Translation:I can have a boyfriend NOW!!!<br />
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However, thinking back on things, I wonder...What if my parents said, "sweetie, we love you and think you are an awesome, intelligent, pretty, manner-able, caring, thoughtful and right minded young lady." "When you find a young man who deserves to share in all that you are, then you can have a boyfriend. Look for the man who is <i>worthy</i> of your wonderfulness" <br />
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Imagining how my life and choices in men would have differed with this nugget of information, it was the same advice I offered my friend in his moment of dread. Give him the concrete details, be medically accurate, but in the end, tell him to seek out a young lady who truly is WORTHY of all he is. We live in a world that is not conducive to sexual freedom, "sowing wild oats", and even simple exploration.<br />
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Our society, by nature of being hyper-sexualized, has made sex an activity that requires medical screenings, multiple forms of birth control, and oftentimes litigation. It's intimacy is far removed from the two individual participants, therefore, the sex education of today must advocate for truth, honesty, respect, and self worth. It is the only way to stem the tide of teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and broken social relations. <br />
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So, when it comes to the question of "Love or Sex" I say HEALTHY Self Love then Sex. In the LoveJonesLifestyle, sex grounded in a healthy sense of self is the way we do it. What about you?Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-88173763140959802102011-03-20T14:49:00.000-05:002011-03-20T14:49:50.419-05:00Super Lunar Spring Love and You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj94q3RLeaeSeuwCNbNKWynQuMBwenH7WEPWofTQ3TEpkfl_DhqBrZUzM4UmsZQlLnc2xd1RhRGlIquDQ3LQDORqkaAu3FoD1TSMKXlC8hSdUwgoDSmQoiytdcu_ZcMXigF7W_ecP6qa_ZO/s1600/Super-moon-007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj94q3RLeaeSeuwCNbNKWynQuMBwenH7WEPWofTQ3TEpkfl_DhqBrZUzM4UmsZQlLnc2xd1RhRGlIquDQ3LQDORqkaAu3FoD1TSMKXlC8hSdUwgoDSmQoiytdcu_ZcMXigF7W_ecP6qa_ZO/s400/Super-moon-007.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Yes Lovers...it's a long title, but the only one fit for a post such as this. We here at LoveJonesLifestyle much like the Big and Brilliant <a href="http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2011/16mar_supermoon/">SuperMoon</a> have experienced an increase in intensity and size. We have, over the last week, experienced an increase in our knowledge, growth, and revelation of our next steps. We have been enlightened with vision coupled with the pressure of our destiny and clear knowledge of our purpose. Chandra Kamaria and Zenzile are beComing more and more of ourselves in every way, daily. <br />
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It should come as no surprise though, for the promise of spring is indeed fulfillment. Spring is symbolized and actualized in growth, fullness, the pregnancy of possibility and the bursting forth of reality. So why should we <i>not</i> expect Spring like characteristics to manifest in our own lives? This Spring we were all given a glimpse of what's to come through the manifestation of the Super Moon. I certainly did not expect the experiences I had this week, as I presented my academic research to be one which pushed me, made me grow, and learn some things about myself, but they did. Chandra Kamaria didn't expect a routine week at the office to inspire her in her creative endeavors as a writer. Beyond that, neither of us expected our small actions to reflexively lead us both to the next level of productivity, artistry, community building, and the even deeper level of living the <i>LoveJonesLifestyle</i> that we speak and write about.<br />
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On today, we want to express our love for our audience, followers, and collaborators. <br />
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On today, we want you to know that we have an abundance of goodies that will bloom forth this spring.<br />
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On today, we stake our claim as the premiere, up and coming space for new artistry from and inspired by the Delta Quandrant.<br />
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On today, we admit to ourselves and the world that we are ready to walk into our individual and collective destinies, and implore you to do the same.<br />
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It is spring, rejoice, set your intention, and join us on the journey to the LoveJonesLifestyle. <br />
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As always, we want to hear how <i>YOU</i> approach the newness and promise of Spring, and how <i>YOU</i> live the LoveJonesLifestyle! Let us know!Zenzilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13041696577619326884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2783902492366030438.post-32915594276010469462011-03-14T22:16:00.000-05:002011-03-14T22:16:43.646-05:00The LJL Show, Episode 1Greetings, Earthlings! <br />
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We are so excited about the launch of our podcast, The LJL Show! Be on the lookout for dynamic interviews with the artist, activist, and scholar communities. Also, you will get the chance to enjoy a ride through the minds of the contributers of the LJL blog, Zenzile, and yours truly! <br />
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On Episode 1, Zenzile recaps the Punany Poets show and I ramble through a few thoughts about eroticism. Expect us to post once a month and you don't want to miss it! <br />
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Without further adue, simply click Play, sit back, enjoy -- but most of all, comment, comment, comment. Your feedback means everything to us! <br />
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With love,<br />
C. Kamaria <br />
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<div><object width="300" height="300"><param name="movie" value="http://www.mixcloud.com/media/swf/player/mixcloudLoader.swf?v=106"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><param name="flashVars" value="feed=http://www.mixcloud.com/api/1/cloudcast/LoveJonesLifestyle/ljl-show-episode-1-the-punany-poets-show-eroticism.json&embed_uuid=98eef790-d414-4008-b646-f308e9210ccb&embed_type=widget_standard"></param><embed src="http://www.mixcloud.com/media/swf/player/mixcloudLoader.swf?v=106" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" flashvars="feed=http://www.mixcloud.com/api/1/cloudcast/LoveJonesLifestyle/ljl-show-episode-1-the-punany-poets-show-eroticism.json&embed_uuid=98eef790-d414-4008-b646-f308e9210ccb&embed_type=widget_standard" width="300" height="300"></embed></object><div style="clear:both; height:3px;"></div><p style="display:block; font-size:12px; font-family:Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin:0; padding: 3px 4px 3px 4px; color:#999;"><a href="http://www.mixcloud.com/LoveJonesLifestyle/ljl-show-episode-1-the-punany-poets-show-eroticism/?utm_source=widget&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=base_links&utm_term=cloudcast_link" style="color:#02a0c7; font-weight:bold;">Ljl Show, Episode 1: The Punany Poets Show & Eroticism </a> by <a href="http://www.mixcloud.com/LoveJonesLifestyle/?utm_source=widget&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=base_links&utm_term=profile_link" style="color:#02a0c7; font-weight:bold;">Lovejoneslifestyle</a> on <a href="http://www.mixcloud.com/?utm_source=widget&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=base_links&utm_term=homepage_link" style="color:#02a0c7; font-weight:bold;"> Mixcloud</a></p><div style="clear:both; height:3px;"></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261057737216454936noreply@blogger.com2