Monday, April 23, 2012

"It" Girl or Sophisticated Lady...pondering modern maturity

‘It’ Girl or Sophisticated Lady?

      Hello Lovelies!!! We hope your love life has been as active, interesting or as full of misadventure as ours…as we always say, the LoveJonesLifestyle is not for the faint of heart!

      Chandra Kamaria and I consider ourselves trendsetters…we often read about things we’ve talked about on LJL or in our personal lives months or in one case, years later, and because we know the power and importance of setting trends, especially when it comes to the image, lives and voice of Big Girls in the City, we regularly ponder and recommit to maintaining our space and voice in cyberspace. We explore the net relentlessly; reading news, online magazines, checkin’ out new tweeters and even examining the latest technology and social trends. Lately we’ve been discussing one of our favorite social networking sites, Twitter.

     While our lives have been enriched by the community space, connection to fellow artists and art connoisseurs and basic awareness and information exchange that Twitter offers, we’ve also become incredibly concerned about the representation we’ve seen of our sisters in tweeting. Obviously twitter is a social networking space, but it is also a space that provides real community if we allow it. And this, the social space of community, is what fuels our concern. Chandra brought it to my attention that there are literally hundreds (if not thousands) of young black women (or who represent themselves as such) who have embraced the “‘it’ girl” persona. You’ve seen the Facebook meme about “things _____ girls do on Facebook” no doubt, and if you’re in a certain demographic, you’ve also seen the hoards of young girls who describe themselves as “models” or “model-type” but are shown posing in their bathroom mirrors, not on a runway. I’ve got to give it to the sisters for their creativity; I often see really cute outfits, makeup and hairstyles. But, come on, who are we kidding? These young ladies are not models and often have no plans, careers or any other aspect of their real lives that would put them on track to model…anything!

      So we ask, what propels these women to represent themselves as such? Is the obsession with the Hollywood manufactured and determined “it” girl so pervasive that regular women around the way have forgotten the allure of the around the way girl!? Have they neglected natural Black beauty in exchange for a fantasy of fame (or infamy), facades and well, fakeness?

       Now, far be it from us to pass judgment on any other sister and how she chooses to represent herself, but we, as intellectual and artistic women have to pose the question, WHY is the “it” girl the representation that so many young sisters are choosing? What is the attraction to expressing oneself with an attitude that causes you to answer the Location question with the response “everywhere you’re not”? I mean, come on, we all know the “I’m just doing me, love me or hate me” blurb is a childish way to say “I don’t have to behave because ‘I’m grown’ and I don’t want to be called out on my bad behavior”, right?

      As women who desire the experience of love (and we ALL need to be loved) and support others in getting the healthy love they need and want, Chandra Kamaria and I have an obligation to not only promote getting said love, but also highlighting ways we block love from our lives, so that we can remove those blocks and get to the good part!
    So it is in the spirit of love that WE offer the beautiful songs, artistic expressions and models of womanhood that helped us get to be the sophisticated ladies we are today…because an it girl is just that, an ‘it’…dehumanized, an object of admiration until the public tires of her…a ‘girl’, a not yet fully actualized woman…and none of our sisters deserves to be dehumanized and disposed of, we all need space to grow, to self actualize, and receive the love we all want need and deserve.
      Stay tuned for the "Sophisticated Lady, photos and maybe even some special treats...and in the meantime tell us what you are doing to get to a healthy love. What models of womanhood showed you how to mature and value YOU? How are you living your LoveJonesLifestyle???