Personal Empowerment

Oftentimes we forget how awesome we are. We are artists, we make the world beautiful!  We are writers, we weave stories that pull at the heart, and boggle the mind. We are musicians, we transport the world to places inside, outside and across space and time!

We are also, very often, 9-5ers with ..."Day Jobs" and it was in this moment, a moment of  preparing for my "day job" that I had a very empowering revelation. Those people...are damn lucky to have me! So...why was I feeling insecure? Why was I questioning my skills? I don't do anything that I haven't done literally hundreds, if not a thousand (by now) times before. I was doing work that I could do with my eyes closed, and a one word prompt! So again...unsure why?

What I realized, was that although I am great at what I do, my place of employment, my position, because it is heavily dependent on external factors, was what was insecure. I obtained my position, like the previous 4 positions before it via a letter and c.v., or simply on someone's word. And, although I was  am good at what I do, I've been hired, and gone on working. However, the organizations I've worked for, nonprofits and educational institutions, are simply spaces that are often financially insecure.

Realization 1
I'm not insecure, institutions are. I am excellent at what I do. I do it well, I'm knowledgeable in my field, and continue to build my skill set.

Another thing I know, because of Realization 1 is that security...comfort is important. I'm the only one looking out for my comfort..its not like anyone is going to come up to me and say, here dear, you do much too much...take a rest! Therefore, I must do it myself. And for me, a day off isn't enough. For me, there is more...the day must start with a delicious snack of strawberries and tea. Then yoga and a steaming hot shower. After that, an hour or so of writing, journaling, planning and reading. Maybe a few phone calls, a pedicure, and a decadent lunch. Chocolate is involved. Some time in nature...a park, a lake, a river, walking, reading, animal or people watching. Capturing some of the beauty in photographs. Creating, writing, teaching. Finding children to chat with- they have wonderful stories and totally understand the concept of lounging, discovery and imagination, and finally journeying home.

Realization 2
I'm going to start living from a place of luxury. Period. 

That is to say, a day off, or my ideal day, shouldn't be special, my ideal day, is how I should live my life. I've already incorporated this ideal into my life in many ways, but this week's realizations only spoke to the urgency with which I need to incorporate more.

I'm so thankful to have had these revelations, as they are the cornerstone of the LoveJonesLifestyle. I look forward to hearing how YOU empower yourselves to live a life in alignment with LJL...

Grown and Sexy? Redefining being Grown...

Much of today's discussion about adulthood has been centered around the notion of being "grown and sexy". The reality though, if you'll think about the awesome days of childhood, is that there's not much about being grown that's "sexy". Remember back in the day? endless days of play, visits to relatives, schoolyard fun and being relatively carefree? Adulthood, for most of us is just the opposite.

Of course, here at LJL we work to make sure our adulthoods contain those elements that made us happiest as kids; music, art, love, friendship and community. 

Which brings me to my point. Isn't it time we redefined what being "grown" really is. Surely there's more to adulthood than being "sexy".

The grownups I talk to, respect and admire often emphasize the friendships they share with their loved one or significant other as the highlight of their adult relationships, not the sex. The reality is, in a world where being grown came relatively easy to our parents generation, (graduate from school, secure "good" job with benefits, and begin a family) those same markers are often elusive to Generation X and Millennials. The current economic climate has sent many of us right back to our parents' basements, and because of the relaxed climate around marriage and expanding structure/definition of family, the stability and security our parents generation experienced just is not a guarantee.

My thinking around being "grown,"  although my current life closely resembles traditionalism, although through a VERY non-traditional path,  has been altered as I think about the significance of adulthood.

For me, adulthood is less about establishing my own autonomy, and more about being of use to my community. So, while I do work to move forward in my own career, accomplish personal goals and  build and invest in my family, part of my work as an adult is to take advantage of the opportunity it gives me to be of use to more than just myself.

As an educator, my paid work is closely tied to community support. I do way more work than I am paid for, and my hours off the clock never really mean I am off. It doesn't end in the classroom and with more technology comes more access, and more opportunities to teach. My subject matter often means that I not only serve as an academic, but also engage in the work of guiding the personal and emotional maturing of my students.

As a parent, of course I see myself as wholly responsible for the success of my sons, even though they are surrounded by wonderfully supportive extended family, educators, child care workers, neighbors and friends.
But I'm also incredibly concerned about their social circle, and of course the young ladies they attend school with. I'm  concerned about their educational institutions and community activities that are available to all kids.

Lately, I've been engaged in a significant amount of volunteer work and have found a great deal of satisfaction in doing work that supports my community in multiple ways. In this work, I've found the true meaning of being "grown". Its not simply growth, or maturity, but becoming an individual that is useful to the community in a variety of ways.

How do YOU do "grown" LJL family???