Grown WomanNess...

Happy New Year from LoveJonesLifestyle to all of you who check us out, no matter how sporadic we post! Lol! What can we say? We live. Sometimes, the discussions about what needs to be seen on this blog are so in depth and enthusiastic, but then when it comes to putting ink to the paper or more appropriately, keystrokes to the post, we fall short because life will call us by our first names and send us on a load of errands. We have jobs to work, families to care for, art to create, etc. While twenty-four hours seem like a long time, it's really not when you're attempting to squeeze eighteen hours worth of life management into it. Once we do get settled, Zenzile and I may pull up a post, hit a few sentences, and then lose our fight to remain awake long enough to finish it. But that's what we do. It's our Grown WomanNess.

Both of us have noticed that the interwebs are full of spirited voices of Black women, speaking on a host of issues and topics, however, we've also noticed that many of their commentaries reek of a bit of immaturity, largely due to the fact that we're not in that mental space anymore. Zenzile & I are part of, what I like to call, the Slo Woman group. I have to give credit to Mint Condition for this concept. They have a song on their recently released album, Music @ the Speed of Life, by the same name. I would say that the Slo Woman group is about 35 and over.  Members of this group have graduated to this point where certain issues have lost their critical weight in our lives. We're not having full-fledged discourses about our 'nerdiness' or fashion sense. We snub our noses at about 90% of popular culture as we're not concerned about being apart of trends so much as we're interested in setting them.  We're not even tempted to randomly mention that rash of reality shows that have permeated so much of Black culture.

Instead, we engage in heady and frank discussions about things like art, culture, emotionality, sexuality, and spirituality over good glasses of wine, or in Zenzile's case, Starbucks coffee.  Our approaches to life are highly customized based on the philosophies that we've acquired by way of Fuck-Ups and we're fully capable of readjusting our sails if the winds of change blow us from East to West, North to South.  Now, whatever you do, don't take us for a group of prudes or snobs as we are FAR from that. The Slo Woman group is filled with women who make self-definition sexy. We exist as we are and make no apologies for it.    

So, as we kick off a new year, we owe it to you, our readers, to be more visible here at LoveJonesLifestyle. While the number of our posts may not indicate it, we do have a lot to say and even more to share. Please, do us a favor. If you're on Facebook, find our LoveJonesLifestyle fanpage, like it and join us this year for some stimulating discussion and sign up to this blog so you won't miss any of our posts. Remember, we live and while we expect to post more content in 2013, we're not gonna make any promises that we can't keep by telling you to look for two-five posts a month and then barely get one posted.  See, that's something else that Grown Women do -- set realistic expectations. :-)

Blessings,
Chandra Kamaria  

Who are your People?

Community…a word composed of two greater words, common and unity that imply exactly that, a coming together or unification of those who have some traits in common.

Community…I love the way it rolls off the tongue, literally making a hug then a kiss in your mouth. Say it cah (opening arms) mu (closing) ni (retreat inside) tee (ending with a smile)

Community…the word conjures up warmth for me, a safe space, home.

Community is a necessary space. One which, in this society of rugged individualism, is often forgotten, denied, and even erased. The questions our grandmothers never had to ask, “Who are your people?” “Where are you from?” we never think to ask, assuming Google knows all. But Google won’t tell us that his people are fifth generation alcoholics…or that she is from a tribe of women, who have never known a healthy relationship with men. Barring a direct confession, these are truths learned from living, working, loving and playing in relation to others. And that is the definition of community.

I first learned of community spaces and the exchanges which take place in them from artists. They were musicians, producers, rappers who knew one another and one another’s work. They knew the history of the music they loved, other genre’s that borrowed and sampled the music, and could identify a production team by their sound signatures. They read about their favorite artists, voraciously devoured liner notes, and knew all of the hidden gems that were slept on by regular listeners. Finally, they always had time to teach, discuss and share what they loved. They invited me in.

This notion of community has taken flight in our day in its diet form, called “Networking” a cold, hard, metallic word, stemming from its digital, internet era roots.
Of course, this “community lite”, or networking lacks all of the features of regular community in that it requires no knowledge of history, no interconnectedness, or shared concern. It only requires a “legitimate” platform, and a tangible “good or service” that can be exchanged or provided.

But I’m old school…a first generation city dweller with roots deep in the Mississippi mud. I am not ashamed to say, that I need my community. I was raised, as an eldest child by my father, and respect that position, for me, a girl child; it means that I will eventually take on the role of Matriarch. I have been well trained in the art of leadership, and gained experience at an early age in community service. Perhaps this fuels my desire for and need to create community now, in all aspects of my life.

This need, coupled with desire, and the encouragement of my unspoken community has led me to create a community of writers. Writers of Color. Intelligent Writers. Writers who can thoughtfully and legitimately give voice to the experiences of other people of color. Men who can humanely write about women, and women who can lovingly write about men. People unafraid to tell our stories in the true myriad of ways in which they occur. After our first retreat, I have already discovered a group of women who are kindred spirits in the ways of writing. We want, desperately, to tell our stories. Often times in hopes of self discovery, identity and in search of clarity. We are happy to have one another.

As the Kwanzaa holiday ends and the New Year approaches, I urge each of you to seek out your community. Where do you belong? Somewhere, there are healthy, loving folks, just waiting for you to fulfill your role. They are waiting to fill you in on their history, and guide you to seek yours. They are offering more than just exchange, and need more than your “goods and services.” The friendships that are a part of the LoveJonesLifestyle grow beyond simple levels of acquaintanceship and “social networking” sites. Friendships turn to sisterhood and brotherhood which create family which solidifies community. What community will you seek out in the New Year? Do you need to create a community? If so, where? Why? What purpose will your service serve?