Grown WomanNess...

Happy New Year from LoveJonesLifestyle to all of you who check us out, no matter how sporadic we post! Lol! What can we say? We live. Sometimes, the discussions about what needs to be seen on this blog are so in depth and enthusiastic, but then when it comes to putting ink to the paper or more appropriately, keystrokes to the post, we fall short because life will call us by our first names and send us on a load of errands. We have jobs to work, families to care for, art to create, etc. While twenty-four hours seem like a long time, it's really not when you're attempting to squeeze eighteen hours worth of life management into it. Once we do get settled, Zenzile and I may pull up a post, hit a few sentences, and then lose our fight to remain awake long enough to finish it. But that's what we do. It's our Grown WomanNess.

Both of us have noticed that the interwebs are full of spirited voices of Black women, speaking on a host of issues and topics, however, we've also noticed that many of their commentaries reek of a bit of immaturity, largely due to the fact that we're not in that mental space anymore. Zenzile & I are part of, what I like to call, the Slo Woman group. I have to give credit to Mint Condition for this concept. They have a song on their recently released album, Music @ the Speed of Life, by the same name. I would say that the Slo Woman group is about 35 and over.  Members of this group have graduated to this point where certain issues have lost their critical weight in our lives. We're not having full-fledged discourses about our 'nerdiness' or fashion sense. We snub our noses at about 90% of popular culture as we're not concerned about being apart of trends so much as we're interested in setting them.  We're not even tempted to randomly mention that rash of reality shows that have permeated so much of Black culture.

Instead, we engage in heady and frank discussions about things like art, culture, emotionality, sexuality, and spirituality over good glasses of wine, or in Zenzile's case, Starbucks coffee.  Our approaches to life are highly customized based on the philosophies that we've acquired by way of Fuck-Ups and we're fully capable of readjusting our sails if the winds of change blow us from East to West, North to South.  Now, whatever you do, don't take us for a group of prudes or snobs as we are FAR from that. The Slo Woman group is filled with women who make self-definition sexy. We exist as we are and make no apologies for it.    

So, as we kick off a new year, we owe it to you, our readers, to be more visible here at LoveJonesLifestyle. While the number of our posts may not indicate it, we do have a lot to say and even more to share. Please, do us a favor. If you're on Facebook, find our LoveJonesLifestyle fanpage, like it and join us this year for some stimulating discussion and sign up to this blog so you won't miss any of our posts. Remember, we live and while we expect to post more content in 2013, we're not gonna make any promises that we can't keep by telling you to look for two-five posts a month and then barely get one posted.  See, that's something else that Grown Women do -- set realistic expectations. :-)

Blessings,
Chandra Kamaria  

Cotton Candy & Fighting with the Nip in the Air

I've been craving cotton candy for the past few days now. In love with the confection ever since I was a young girl, my trips to the State Fair wasn't complete without my annual rides on the Zipper, the Himalaya, the Round Up, and my treat of cotton candy. I thoroughly enjoyed the stickiness of it on my fingers and how it melted on my tongue. It wasn't until I was a teenager hanging out with a serious crush that I realized cotton candy had another effect and other uses as well. Ha! Anyway, here I am, seriously in need of a big bag of cotton candy so I can chase away the blues brought on by the onset of Fall and the ensuing Winter days ahead. For the record, I don't like Fall/Winter, mostly because I don't like cold weather and all of the clothes I have to wear to stay warm.

At the time of this writing, my central heat has been on since last night-- I believe the temp was about 50 something degrees....and it's only October. So, you can imagine how I am during the dead of Winter. My temp setting hovers around 80 degrees because I like it toasty. While I will stop short of saying that I deal with the clinical version of seasonal depression, I will say that I struggle a bit with being my lively self when it comes nippy days and nights. It's just something a bit sad about watching the leaves fall from the trees and that constant nip in the air that whisks around my face. It's a good thing that I have football season.

The Fall/Winter is also the unofficial start of Boo Season, humorously dubbed so because it seems as though single people make an extra special effort to land a Boo so they can keep their toes warm during the short days and long nights. The thought behind Boo Season is that the current Boo is supposed to take one through the holidays, including Valentine's Day but as soon as the days begin warming up again, one can ceremoniously cut their Boo loose so that they can frolic and enjoy the bees of Summer (read: have happy little Summer flings). While I use the term from time to time, I really don't care much for its connotation. But then, I don't care much for anything that trivializes the beautiful process of blossoming love affairs and relationships.

Here, at the LJL, we're continuing to experience the dynamics of our love lives, while searching deep within to uncover some honest truths about who we are and what we really want. I will have more time than Zenzile, perhaps, because I'm deeply engaged in the business of shutting down social activities so I can focus on writing and planning for 2012. My Summer left something to be desired and, if anything, it proved to me that I gotta work harder to produce and grow. My theory is that my love life will blossom even more once I'm free from the confines of the corporate slum. So, that's my agenda for the coming months--get free and focused before it warms up again. As a single gal, my voluntary existence of being a Shut In/Recluse for the Fall/Winter doesn't sound exciting and you would think I would do my part to find social outlets to meet a potential Boo for the chilly nights.

But, that's not my challenge. I'm not exactly worried about meeting someone as I'm in deep thought about how to approach and manage a potential situation that can become quite complicated. You know how it is -- it starts off being clear cut and easy to read, then some words are said -- and the next thing you know, it's that gray matter that leaves you guessing, wondering, and trying to figure out what move you need to make. At the same time, I'm also at conflict with my usual 'cover every angle' approach, desiring to just caste all weight aside and dive right in. You see, I don't know what delicious excitement awaits me if I just dismantle my guard and let 'somebody walk up behind me and kiss me on my neck' -- Erykah Badu style, ya dig? Maybe I can get it on this Winter and put it down just like Noel Gourdin's 'Summertime'. Might be the best way to fight the nip in the air, ya know?

So, what's your plans for the upcoming Chilly Season?

"I'm Open": The Beauty of Emotional Vulnerability

Whether we admit it or not, all of us have veils to cover our faces and fortresses around our hearts. Anything that will reveal the depth of our emotions is generally shielded from the piercing eyes of judgmental people, the predatory methods of leeches, and from those people that are looking to us for their guidance and support (we call it a show of strength). With the increasing onset of technology and how it has radically changed the way we communicate, we can easily express our thoughts without unearthing our emotional states. I have heard about breakups that happened via text message and Facebook. On the flip side, sexting has taken the place of raw and intimate conversations, which somehow renders the exchange as fruitless and unsexy. To me, it really can't get any more impersonal as that. Slowly, we're morphing into robots....and, unfortunately, many of us are okay with that.

Can you remember the last time you cried? If you do, will you admit it? Well, I can. It was this past weekend. I cried because I was broke...and I cannot stand being broke, especially when I think I shouldn't be financially strapped. Now, it wasn't one of those cries infused with hysterical sobbing (although I've been capable of a few of those), but rather one of those misty-eyed, six teardrop joints that would have readily indicated to anyone present that I wasn't happy. See, I cried alone -- and I didn't have to tell you that. But I did. It ain't no thang to me. I live in a constant space of Open because being emotionally vulnerable, from time to time, is a survival tactic for me. Through a free release of emotions, I'm able to keep my perspective about things, believe it or not.

It doesn't stop there with crying. My range of emotions can be covered through other forms of expression -- including profanity or cussing, which is, honestly, a personal favorite of mine. :-) Over the years, I tried to appease the traditional posturing when it comes to women and cussing.

"It's unlady-like to cuss."
"Christians shouldn't cuss."

Bullshit. Sometimes, a well placed 'shit' or 'fuck' can relieve the soul of unnecessary tension, leading to correctness in cognitive thinking because your emotions are not all dammed up and affecting that ability anymore. Ok, before I go any further, please understand that I am not talking about some kind of erratic emotional behavior. Besides, that kind of behavior is the result of someone who has tried to do too much 'cool-posing' and worked too hard to control their emotions. Then, they just break down. That's unhealthy. Emotional releases lead to balance, at least, I tend to think so.

Look, Life can do some underhanded things to us. It can unravel the best laid plans, unsuspectingly crush dreams, and mock desires in such a way that we will erroneously believe that things will never get better, or worse, we start thinking that we don't serve any purpose in the world. Our emotions is the gateway to clarity, which is essentially freedom. By actually 'feeling' for just a little while, we can cope better and come to terms with the fact that we may need a better game plan or clean house and confront some things in the Relationship Department.

Emotional releases can also uncover some insecurities we've hidden behind our accomplishments, reveal character flaws or overindulgence in bad habits. Whatever the case, to merely brush the effect off with a wave of nonchalance or faking strength can be dangerous sometimes. Our strength is not in walling up our emotions and putting on a tough face, but rather, it's in the acknowledgement of our hurt, anger, sadness, loneliness, fear, etc. Then, if we have to cry it out or cuss it out, so be it. Once we've dried our noses and the anger has subsided, there is an openness. At first, it may feel odd but embrace it because now you're ready to handle the matter at hand, perhaps in a way of brilliance that you would have never suspected.

Now, what does this have to do with the Love Jones Lifestyle? EVERYTHING. On this journey, we have to bear in mind that it's the Road Less Traveled and while there's fewer people, it's a bumpier road fraught with obstacles, disappointments, unexpected happenings, and broken expectations. You cannot afford to live according to Purpose and think that everything will align itself accordingly. On the contrary, the Status Quo lifestyle promises to be much smoother and easier to navigate because there's a blueprint. With the Love Jones Lifestyle, it's a lot like that compass that Captain Jack Sparrow had in the Pirates movies. Remember? The compass pointed in the direction of what his heart wanted the most -- and then he set sail. A map either didn't exist or it was created with some cryptic code that had to be deciphered. Regardless, there isn't an easy way and no shortcuts. Given those circumstances, it will behoove you to capture those specific times in your life when releasing your emotions are critical. It helps, also, to sob it out with a trusted ally. If there isn't an ally available, cry out to God in the middle of your living room. Go ahead! I do it all the time.

All I'm saying is, in the midst of your beautiful struggle, just remember that you are beautifully human.

Amen?

Redistributing Your Energy

Well, Obviously, we here at LoveJonesLifestyle have been putting energy into things other than LoveJonesLifestyle. Again, not for lack of Love, but for the Lifestyle!

We've been busily crafting and creating, planning and implementing. Admittedly, I've taken a brief vacation, but even my vacations involve "work." I spent the week mentoring, teaching, and creating with a group of dynamic young people who dream of future careers in the arts. Seeing their energy, or lack of energy around certain people, topics, and activities served as a great reminder to me, and how I implement my own LoveJonesLifestyle.

As I go about completing my last year of school, planning for my business, networking with artists, clients, scholars and coaches and of course being a family member (mama, auntie, cousin, sister) I become more and more clear on the need for focus, planning and strategic direction of my energy.

I've been alone, and have worked independently long enough to recognize my work style, my best conditions for work, the purpose in my work, and the signs my body, environment and the universe reveal to me for my safety and productivity.

Living the LoveJonesLifestyle often entails a lot of hard work. It entails prioritizing, laser like focus, and oftentimes a denial of all things frivolous or that would block your creativity, energy and productivity.

Having said that, I'm headed into a laser like focus over the next three months that will hopefully pay off exponentially in the academic, business, and health areas of my life. As we head into the summer solstice in less than a week, what are some of the ways you plan on redirecting your energy to get to your ultimate LoveJonesLifestyle?

Manifesting Your Vision

Greetings LJL Family!

As you can see, Chandra Kamaria and I have been...well, MIA. Yup, I said it. We have, but it is not without good reason...although there never really is a GOOD reason to leave you lovely folks hanging without a word, so my apologies for the hiatus, but we have been WORKING!!!

I dreamt up the topic Manifesting Your Vision, not because the Lifestyle, has gone all new agey, but because, well, that's what we've been doing. Part of the Lifestyle is living!

We are committed to manifesting many things: this blog, which we hope to use to create community and dialog among other dreamers, original stage plays, which we use to provide entertainment of substance and quality to our community members, events which we use to support our goal of community building, and of course our poems, prose, research and commentary which we use to share our knowledge, perspectives and engage you all and our community in dialog.

I'm an extreme procrastinator, but when I get into something, I get completely into it, submerged, immersed. I've been so committed and engaged in projects that things like eating and sleeping become nuisances. There have been projects that I've worked on so intensely that I didn't leave my house for days. Yeah, it's that serious. So, how do I get to this place? How do I bridge the procrastination and make it to the dedication? Well, I use the bridge. The bridge, for me is an affirmation that I have taped to my bathroom mirror. It states,

"I release all attributes that hinder my success.
I claim the power of N.O.W. No Opportunity Wasted"

So, that's what I've been doing. I've been seizing each and every opportunity. Literally, I'm typing this in sweat soaked gym clothes because while working out, I got the idea for this post. Manifesting our vision requires time, focus, consistency, and most of all, using the NOW!

We are so thankful to you for joining us on the journey towards our ideal lifestyle, and want to hear how YOU are manifesting your vision, and living your LoveJonesLifestyle.

Super Lunar Spring Love and You

Yes Lovers...it's a long title, but the only one fit for a post such as this. We here at LoveJonesLifestyle much like the Big and Brilliant SuperMoon have experienced an increase in intensity and size. We have, over the last week, experienced an increase in our knowledge, growth, and revelation of our next steps. We have been enlightened with vision coupled with the pressure of our destiny and clear knowledge of our purpose. Chandra Kamaria and Zenzile are beComing more and more of ourselves in every way, daily.

It should come as no surprise though, for the promise of spring is indeed fulfillment. Spring is symbolized and actualized in growth, fullness, the pregnancy of possibility and the bursting forth of reality. So why should we not expect Spring like characteristics to manifest in our own lives? This Spring we were all given a glimpse of what's to come through the manifestation of the Super Moon. I certainly did not expect the experiences I had this week, as I presented my academic research to be one which pushed me, made me grow, and learn some things about myself, but they did. Chandra Kamaria didn't expect a routine week at the office to inspire her in her creative endeavors as a writer. Beyond that, neither of us expected our small actions to reflexively lead us both to the next level of productivity, artistry, community building, and the even deeper level of living the LoveJonesLifestyle that we speak and write about.

On today, we want to express our love for our audience, followers, and collaborators.

On today, we want you to know that we have an abundance of goodies that will bloom forth this spring.

On today, we stake our claim as the premiere, up and coming space for new artistry from and inspired by the Delta Quandrant.

On today, we admit to ourselves and the world that we are ready to walk into our individual and collective destinies, and implore you to do the same.

It is spring, rejoice, set your intention, and join us on the journey to the LoveJonesLifestyle.

As always, we want to hear how YOU approach the newness and promise of Spring, and how YOU live the LoveJonesLifestyle! Let us know!

Poetry Jam!!!

Well, LJL family...we all know one of the staples of our favorite film/lifestyle is the Poetry Slam, or Poetry Jam as I like to call them. Indeed the initial meeting, flirtation and seduction between Darius and Nina take place in, around and through poems and music.

For this reason, we can only see it as fitting to grace you with the musical and poetic stylings of one of our favorite poet/producer/lover/creators....
Fathom9 aka Doc Anon aka the Anti-Life Equation. He describes himself as, "a reservoir of limitless potential...(the mic is an instrument/I am the Conduit/Conveying the intimate/sentiments/of the Infinite...)

He, his music, and his writings can be found at http://fathom9.tumblr.com. And, now, without further ado, I present, Fathom9 in words and sounds.

Sounds::

Soul Heart Sessions: Winter-Leaves

Words::

This Night; my thoughts…(Fathom 9) A.L.E.

This night…my thoughts—take me to a place I had since abandoned—for sadly our world is comprised of

souls who would curse dreamers—but this night…my thoughts dwell in the shadow of a memory…


There once existed a girl whom I would await in my dreams. We had a special place-I called it our Sacred Garden,

Where we could be free to explore our desires outside the confines of Space, Time, and callous reality.

How wonderful our adventures were.

But one evening beneath crimson twilight I appeared, called out to

Her, and naught answered me but silent echoes. I repeated every night for what seemed an eternity,

To no avail. Ragged—bereft of the light of Passion I screamed into the night: My LOVE! My LOVE—

you would dare FORSAKE me? Why, My LOVE? Why??? I who go thirsty in the desert a thousand

Seasons, and with one breath from your lips-my thirst would be quenched…I would shatter my feeble

flesh

before the glory of your feet, and through my bleeding exposed heart-a garden of my love’s testimonial

Would spring forth replenishing a barren Earth…why would you abandon I—your wanton servant…?

She never answered me…


and since have I wandered this land of desolation—weeping.

Let us know what you think LJL Family...We'd love to hear your feedback and thoughts about Fathom's work. Do you want more???

Love Meditations

"They say I'm crazy the way you got me open, baby!
They say I'm bugging the way I'm top sweating your loving.
They all sit and wonder why this feeling I cannot hide.
It ain't a question of pride.
IT'S LOVE." -- Jill Scott

So, in living this Love Jones Lifestyle, one has to be willing to accept the fact that love will remain elusive and in dire need of rumination at every given moment. Love is like a prism, it changes color depending on the amount of light that penetrates it. Each color has its own interpretations and causes a separate course of action for resolution of an issue. So, the more illuminated you are in your meditations, the easier it will be to untangle the complexities of love when they are presented. It's troubling when someone accepts a generic standard of love that does not bear fruit for their affair, simply because they did not take the time to soul search it for themselves.

That's why it's critically important to determine what love means to you; embrace it, demonstrate it, and send it out so that the angels can tend to it when you're too dazed to recall your constitution because you're busy with playing the role of the martyr or the fool. This is a tried method of ensuring your sanity throughout the experience of loving your Loved One. So, while you are doing everything you can do to keep the affair going, you won't have to worry about losing or undermining what you know.

I know about this first hand.

Over the past weekend, I've been reviewing the decrees of love that I have issued to the universe and replaying a conversation over and over again to check for inconsistencies. I understood what was said--but my mind and heart are not in agreement, thus, both are still deliberating. Because I base love on the Scriptural Chapter 13 (I Corinthians 13:4-8), I'm standing here hoping all things, and believing all things -- ensuring also not to seek my own. At best, this is my course of action and certainly a challenge for me. A woman of my caliber wants to have it my way and I have a strategy to accomplish just that. But no, patience has to have its perfect work -- and that's good and understandable, but what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Don't answer that. I got it. In a word, I live. I have more than enough to keep me fulfilled while I await love's jury to present more evidence that I'm either guilty of holding on too long or not guilty of wanting to move on. While I wait, I draw one step closer to clarity because love is still teaching me.

So, let me encourage those of you out there who are still bold and brave enough to love, spend more time understanding its inner workings for you and the sake of your Loved One. Decide how love should frame your life and pursue that goal. As you love and tend to your affairs (whether simple or complicated), tap your fortitude to confront those potential cracks in the defense of love and seal them with righteousness. Never forget this constant truth: love does not acknowledge cowardice so be willing to fight. Be sure to stand on its side because it will always wear the crown of Champion. Love never fails.

Before I wrap this up, let me also do some beckoning. As the vibrations of this song and its lyrics fill the air, I command the angels to carry them to the heart of my Loved One so he will understand that when love calls, he'd better answer....because love may not ever come again, at least, not from me. So, as love prepares the verdict, I stand ready to act.

Peace to the Righteous.